The company I work for was sold a few years back. The Brits, who were super nice people, sold us to an incredibly intelligent, good-looking group of Americans.
This post, however, is not about sucking up. This post is about my retirement accounts.
I seem to have three.
And I know this because I get updates from three different companies.
For a long time I’d get the updates, open them, and see that I’d made a little bit of money. Not long ago things went to hell and when the updates came I didn’t look at them – I knew what they’d show.
One day I got a letter from one of the companies that came in an envelope that was unlike the others the company had sent. The uniqueness of the envelope drew me to it and I decided to have a peek inside.
The letter advised me that the balance in that account had fallen to a level low enough that the company was going to have to start charging me a maintenance fee.
In other words: The company managing this retirement account had lost enough of my money – and had been working so hard and long at losing it – they couldn’t be bothered to do it for free any more. They were going to have to charge me.
It’s my thought that it would be easier to keep an eye on a smaller amount of money than a larger amount. I mean, if you had a garbage can full of 20’s sitting next to your desk you’d want to keep a watchful eye on everybody that got near it. A couple stacks of hundreds, on the other hand, could rest at your elbow all day and not be much trouble to monitor.
But really, that’s a foolish comparison. The money exists on a computer somewhere. One hundred dollars … one million dollars … it takes the same amount of human looking after.
I’m not complaining. It’s sort of funny when you think about it. As things like this go.
I’m being charged $12.00 annually.
Wow! That is unbelievable.
It’s funny in a not-funny, glad-it’s-not-me way.
Oh wait, I lost almost 50% this year. Guess I’ll stop laughing…
Do you have compulsory superannuation in America? It’s been in vogue in Australia since the late 80s and it’s meant to help fund my retirement.
However, the global economic collapse has seen most people lose 20 percent of the value of their superannuation in the past year, still counting.
I switched half of mine to cash six months ago, so maybe I’ve done less badly.
Ow. ~Hope the irony is free of charge…
This has to be one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while. Er, I mean, I’m sorry you’re losing money. But it’s kind of funny that they’re charging you to lose it for you …
Ok, I’m just gonna shut up.
Hmm…$1/month to help you lose money. How nice of them to charge you for that service. Ever thought about combining all your accounts into one? Less paper to look at and save a tree
Ms. Florida: Fifty percent. Oh man.
Michael: I don’t believe we have superannuation here. I’ve never heard of it. The account that I’ve lost money from *might* be my SEP — something the Brits had set up for us, but another thing we don’t typically have in the US.
HeatherD: If it’s free it’s only because they haven’t figured out a way to charge for it yet.
Cap: When I got the letter I laughed in my (really sweet) mini-van. It was one of those you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me moments.
Becky: You make a good point about the trees. I can get the statements online — and I have in the past for one or two of the accounts … I keep goofing something up which forces account managers to start the paper statements at some point. (Maybe an e-mail bounces?)
As if charging fees for losing your money weren’t bad enough, on a taxable account, you also get to pay income tax on dividends. On the “plus” side, you can deduct the capital losses if you sold shares (deduct pennies on dollars lost).
I’m likely to take advantage of this “plus” in the current tax year. It’s unlikely one of the companies I own stock in will make it through this year.