Michael left the question below in the comments of a recent post. I started to leave a simple answer but have trouble stringing two words together and leaving it at two words. After my reply grew to a certain point I decided to make it a full-fledged blog entry. But then I thought better of it.
Michael’s question:
… I know you’re not overtly religious, but how did you come to be Catholic (as I am) from your Baptist background?
The answer I finally posted in comments:
I became Catholic after our first child was born. My wife had converted several years before. We thought it would be a good idea to have a common religion in the house; I was not sure Southern Baptist was the way to go.
The original long answer contained too many points that would have my Southern Baptists relatives up all night praying for my salvation. Many of them are getting on in years and need their sleep. I don’t want to worry them needlessly. The entry was not an attack against Baptists — just thoughts on why I’m no longer one and why I don’t have the most unshakable belief in a supreme being. (What can I say, I didn’t believe in a Pizza Hut supreme pizza until I saw one.)
Let’s close with a joke or two:
Q: How many Baptists do you have to take fishing with you?
A: Two. If you take one, he’ll drink all of your beer. If you take two they don’t drink any.
Q: Why don’t Methodists carry their Bibles to church with them?
A: They don’t want to be mistaken for Baptists.
Is there one that goes, “Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up? They’re afraid it will lead to dancing.” Does that make any sense?
Nobody works a buffet like a Baptist. (That’s one of mine.)
I was best man in a Methodist wedding once. The minister was telling us what to do and taking us through the steps. At one point he stopped and said, “And at this point the Best Man with yell “Amen” for no obvious reason.” Up until that instant I thought people yelled ‘amen’ on a regular basis in all churches. (And it isn’t really yelling. It’s more of a laid-back, “aaaammmeeeen.”)
There is something wrong with 400 pound ministers — of any religion — preaching that homosexuality is a sin … excuse me … an abomination against mankind and nature. (If I do something, it’s a sin — if you do the same thing it is an abomination against mankind and nature.)
I was at the Gay Pride parade in Columbus, Ohio a couple of years ago. I was on the Gay Pride side with a group of men and women, gay and straight, who had assembled to silently support the parade participants. We were there minding our own business. Pretty soon a group of fundamentalists zealots assembled on the corner across from us. Based on the experiences from previous years our group was pretty sure they assembled there to heckle us. We moved a block up the road. The zealots moved a block up the road as well and shouted impolite things toward our group the the whole time.
After the parade was over there was a group of us standing and talking. The crowd had dispersed from both sides and the parade was over. My wife and I were talking to some friends making lunch plans. A guy from the religious side walked toward us and as he approached triggered the horn on his bullhorn to disrupt our conversation. He continued to honk his honk as he approached and then pass us. Just to disrupt our conversation — we were planning lunch! I finally yelled, “Honk if you support the gay community” and he quit honking.
As we stood and planned our lunch we could overhear a small group of people off to one side. They were with a religious group and had come to protest the parade. They were appalled by the actions of the zealots and were talking about how they didn’t want to be associated with that group.
As a rule I don’t expect people to be perfect. I do expect them to be perfect if it is their intention to tell me right from wrong.
While in my mid-twenties I worked for an agency who worked to end hunger in Ohio. I would meet with ministerial associations as part of myj job. At one meeting in one of our rural counties I noticed that there were no Baptists present. When I asked about this one of the ministers pointed out that they didn’t attend as some of the members of the association were of (some denomination — Menonite?) that the Baptist Ministers couldn’t associate with for fear of offending their congregations.
Well, best to move on to something else. Some of the worry-the-relatives stuff is starting to creep back in.
My apoligies for the disjointed feel this has.
I started out as Catholic, but switched to Buddhism. Now I’m leaning towards Daveism because I get to be a messiah. Something tells me that messiahs get all the chicks.