A sort of rerun, per my July 5th, 2009 note to you all. Edited a fair bit for the sake of readability and rantiness. Originally posted September 1, 2005.
Let me preface this by saying, I used to be Baptist. Most of my relatives still are. Now, on with the post.
Q: How many Baptists do you have to take fishing with you?
A: Two. If you take one, he’ll drink all of your beer. If you take two they don’t drink any.
Q: Why don’t Methodists carry their Bibles to church with them?
A: They don’t want to be mistaken for Baptists.
Is there one that goes, “Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up? They’re afraid it will lead to dancing.” Does that make any sense?
I read your previous post and let me just say this, I find it very humorous that only Baptists (or former Baptists) get the jokes about food and Baptists.
I’m a Baptist. Just, ya know, a really really bad one.
I came for the family, I stayed for the food.
“I came for the family, I stayed for the food.” That’s one I’d not heard before.
It’s very hard to be a good Baptist. That’s one of the reasons I gave up trying.
I don’t do Baptists, Methodists, or anything weird. Bible Bashers inc., does not work for me. The terms and conditions of the contracts kill me.
I like my life uncluttered, and religion is just too complicated.