Interview Me Questions

Mike, at LeSombre, is participating in Avitable’s five-question interview revival, and I asked him to interview me. His questions follow.

If you want me to interview you, the instructions are at the bottom of the post.

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1. Tu est exilé sur une île désetre pour une année complète. On the permet de prendre avec toi seuleument trois objets (outre les objets essentiels comme du savon, un razoir, etc.). Quels objets emportes-tu et pour quelles raisons.

1b. Now be honest: How much of the previous sentence did you understand without the help of an on-line translator of a human translator? And can you find the three spelling mistakes in it?

I was so hoping I’d get at least one question in French.

This is how I read it: You are exiled to a desert island for one year. You are allowed to take with you only three items (other than the essentials like “du savon”, a razor, etc.) What objects do you take and for what reasons.

“Exiled” may be a little heavy, but the gist remains. “Savon” I thought might be toiletries (it is “soap” per Google. I assume I’ve done some sort of learning exercise in which we said, “I wash my hands with soap” which would explain where the toiletries feel came from.)  I really wanted to make a “… like those things they sell at Sav-On” joke, but this is sort of a test, and since Mike and I have never played “Does Canada have Sav-On Drugstores,” I was unsure of whether or not Sav-Ons existed there. (Honestly… does Canada need specialty discount drugstores when all of the US treats the whole of Canada as a one-stop shop for discount drugs?)

I’d no idea what “emportes” meant but sorted it out (maybe) due to context.

Spelling mistakes?

I’ll be so screwed here. “On the permet,” perhaps should that be “On le permet.” And I really think this is more of a bilingual mental fart than part of LeSombre’s spelling test.

I am unhappy with the second “u” in “seuleument” and would spell it “seulement.” Of course, I’m unhappy with that too.

Is it really “du savon?” How about “le savon?” (Ou, peut-être, Le Walgreens.)

 What would I take?

My iPod Touch/solar charger combo: An iPod goes a long way toward chasing boredom away. You can walk miles and miles and miles and time just zips by. My iPod also has a few movies on it, though I might forego those to make room for extra e-books. The solar charger would be needed to keep it juiced.

A container car full of Mooshead: I’d be curious to see how much beer I could drink in a year if I applied myself. Moosehead is the only Canadian beer owned by Canadians (per the Internet) and I like the bottle. (Hey, how can you tell if a woman likes Moosehead? She has antler marks up and down the insides of her thighs.  Thank you. Thankyouverymuch. I’ll be here all week.)

A picture of my children: You know, because women might be reading this and I want to come off as a sensitive sort of guy. (In all honesty, I’d probably take a mountain bike – I’d have a picture of my boys on the iPod.)

2. If you were recuperating in a hospital, who would you want in the bed next to you, excluding relatives? Bruce Springsteen; I’d like him to be in for something really minor. That way I’d get to meet Bruce and, probably, the rest of the E Street Band when they came to visit. And you just know Clarence would bring his sax. (This assumes you mean in the second bed in the room I’m in. "In the bed, next to me” I’d prefer someone else entirely. Ah… who am I kidding, I’d take Bruce then too.)

3. This question requires a little more work on your part. You have five minutes to go through your house and find one object that reveals a lot about you to people who know you, but would tell nothing about you to the rest of the world. Post a picture of that object. 

What this says about me is that I hold on to things that have good memories associated with them. Or that I’m a packrat. In any case this shirt is about 24-years old and is from the Gil Whitney Memorial Softball game held between the Montgomery County Young Democrats and Montgomery County Young Republicans. I don’t remember who won but I do remember doing part of the announcing of the game with my buddy Jeff (at one point an African American Democrat joined us and when Jeff said, “You can be our ‘color’ man,” the African American guy said, “I’ll be your ‘colored’ color man.”). I remember that some local celebrities played. I remember the post-game beer drinking at one of the local bars with the Republicans; I’ll bet we went to Flanigans.

4. What is one characteristic you received from you parents that you want to keep, and one you wish you could change?

As you know, I have Trophy Parents; they are two of the most wonderful people in the world.

If I were to change something I’d wish I could show emotion a little better – as an example, I’m truly thankful for anything anybody does for me or gives to me, but I’m unable to show squirrel-shit-nutty excitement (like a friend of mine once did over getting a pair of socks… socks! people); I always say “thank you” and I mean it, but I wonder if people don’t worry about my sincerity (oddly enough, the smaller the gift, the more emotion I show). My dad is very laid back – to the point it’s just been in the last six or seven years that I’ve come to know that watching Ohio State University basketball sometimes ties him in knots (my friends were surprised to learn of this as well); I get my calmness from him. On the plus side, if we were ever on a plane that was getting ready to crash into the ocean I’d be the guy you’d want to sit by… I wouldn’t be sitting there screaming and going insane – I’d be trying to make it to the end of the chapter I was currently reading before the big splashdown (you know, so long as we weren’t in a vomit-inducing spiral.) I’d also try to land the plane if volunteers were asked for.

I’m more inclined to give you something than sell you something. My parents are the same way. I’d certainly keep that.

And, honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. Even the extreme laid-backness. (Which may not come from anything more than just being uptight.)

5. What would you like said at your funeral? Wait a minute… I think he’s just sleeping. (Which will be even more surprising to hear if I’ve been embalmed.)

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So there you have it! Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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