June 24, 2008

Clint Eastwoodness

The men in my family seem to have a Clint-Eastwoodian sense of right and wrong. And like Clint we're not afraid to mete out a little justice when the situation calls for it. I'm not necessarily talking about big things — we've got law enforcement agencies to take care of those items and if we were to be honest they don't want us in their way (not that that ever stopped Clint, but he had a bevy of writers working for him).  Also the things they deal with don't always impact us in a manner that leaves us saying, "I wish I would have done this or that… then."

Several years ago Granny and Big D (my mom and dad for the newer readers) were in a fast food place; my children were with them. At the table next to them was a group of young people who were using language, in a conversational tone, which my dad didn't think he nor his dining companions should be exposed to. Dad gave the young people a few minutes to note they weren't the only ones in the restaurant and maybe reign the cursing in. When that didn't happen he slapped his hand down and in his authoritative-booming-dad voice said, "That's enough of that." I honestly think when I heard this story it was told with dad slapping his hand in the middle of the foul-mouthed-patrons' table. In any case, the cursing stopped and the conversation turned more toward the rudeness of the big old guy; they seemed to be clueless that tossing "fuck" around between French fries might put some people off. I believe that conversation was held as the foul-mouthed-diners filed out of the restaurant. 

Another time Big D was at a campground and overheard a father tell his son, "Michael, don't run off and leave your sister," and assumed it to mean maybe little Mikey had been running off and leaving his sibling to run crying after him and that Mike's dad was tired of it. The next day Big D was at the campground's carryout and saw Michael and his sis buying snacks. After the little boy paid he made a dash for the door leaving his sister at the counter. "Michael," dad said, and the kid froze, "don't you run off and leave your sister." And he didn't. And if your name is Michael and you were anywhere within three counties of my dad that day you didn't run off and leave your sister either. Such is the power of my dad's dad voice, will, psyche and Clint-Eastwoodness.

In the above examples he isn't exactly stopping bank robbers but he did make the world better for anybody who didn't care to hear thoughtless kids tossing F bombs over lunch and for a little girl who was buying snacks. And I'm certain he could stop bank robbers if the situation ever arose: "You, with the gun! That's enough of that! Give the money back!" 

You may recall my frustration with idiots who text in theaters and the steps I've taken to keep that behavior from being a bother to those of us who came to watch a movie. And my possibly-poorly-thought-out chasing down of people who yell at me while biking (though I maintain that may eventually keep idiots from yelling a someone else and distracting them to the point they crash into the ditch… oooh, that's a weak one). And there was the shopping cart incident that I can't find the entry to link to.

Hmmm. Maybe I'm just an asshole.

Anyway, this past Sunday, Samson and I rode our bicycles up the bike path and then to the local carryout for refreshments. At the door of the carryout was a very young brunette gal who politely stopped us and asked if we had any "spare change for gas." The brunette was likely somewhere around 20, perhaps just under 18 or just over 22. Having a choice of tossing a twenty at her or three ones, I gave her three ones; I figured I'd give her two more after Sam and I had our drinks.

While Samson and I paid, another patron asked the clerks if they knew anything about the gal panhandling outide; one of them got on the phone to the owner.

The carryout emptied except for Sam, me and two clerks. As we sat sipping our pops the young gal came in, apparently having gotten all the money she needed, paid for her gas and asked for a pack of cigarettes.

"I gave you that money for gas," I boomed from where Samson and I were sitting. The clerks turned and looked at me though the brunette appeared not to hear.

My thought was the brunette and I had a verbal contract of sorts. She asked for money for gas and I gave her some. She did not ask for money for cigarettes and while I'd have happily bent the contract to allow for snacks and a pop, tobacco products fall outside of my contract bending. I'm guessing the gal could have argued the point that while she'd asked me for gas money she'd asked the next person for cigarette money and they'd tossed some cash at her — I don't think Perry Mason would have believed it and neither would I, but it didn't matter; she wasn't interested in arguing her point so much as she was scurrying out of the carryout.

"That was really good," said Samson, more about the boomyness of my voice than my oddball sense of right-and-wrong.

Later, when he told his brothers about it he said, "Dad sounded just like Big D."

[I was just the smallest bit irritated with the brunette because I expected honesty from her. I've given seemingly-intoxicate homeless folks money "for food" when they've asked me even though I've suspected they might use at least part of it for Thunderbird; that was my expectation and it was my hope they'd buy at least a little food. (I've bought food for people too, rather than hand off cash — it depended on the situation and my fatherhood status at the time.) "Can you spare a few dollars" would not have come with any strings. "Can you spare a few dollars for gas" comes with strings as the "for gas" portion suggests a specific need — a need she felt to mention as it made her more a damsel in distress than it did a person with poor budgetary skills. I'm not saying it'll make sense to everybody.]

The following photo is a Flickr photo inserted using Linear (formerly Ecto); it's inserted as an image of medium size. AND, it's the Iron Sheik, Haydn, Jack and Samson. 

Technorati Tags: Flickr, Wrestling

Posted by delmer at 7:07 AM | Comments (9)

May 15, 2008

Oooh, that smell

Since this past Friday night I've been trying to track down a smell in the house that seemed to be focused around Haydn, my eldest. Each time I'd walk into the living room I'd be hit by a smell that could only be described as bad in a puzzling sort of way.

Haydn assured me he didn't need a bath — but boys are like that.

Finally, tired of the smell I made him shower.

The smell was back Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes it moved to the kitchen which made me wonder if I'd left something in the dishwasher or garbage disposal or trash can. Nothing turned up bad.

Back in the living room I started smelling on the various throws I have. Nothing came up rank.

The smell was so bad I wondered how it managed to remain as elusive as it was and how it was it moved around.

Last night it was back right next to Haydn and I thought it might be a bag he had sitting next to him. As I leaned forward to pick up the bag the smell hit me even harder. Looking down I noticed Haydn's shoes.

Now that I know what the smell is I've upgraded it from "bad in a puzzling sort of way" to "incredibly impressive" as to get that kind of funk out of a pair of shoes is an amazing piece of work.

I tossed the shoes in the washing machine and set the water to super-hot. I poured in some deodorizer, some Cheer, a bit of bleach and then the shoes that I'd pretreated.

This morning the shoes had the fresh smell of a warm Spring day. 

Technorati Tags: Smells

Posted by delmer at 2:41 PM | Comments (3)

May 11, 2008

I wanna be like you-oo-oo

Haydn played King Louie in the eighth-grade version of Jungle Book. I grabbed the camera I normally take biking with me as I'd forgotten one of its problems is that it won't read memory cards.

So, I only had enough time to catch a snippet of Haydn's song.

You can't tell from the video but the boy is wearing the biggest smile. He's truly a ham.

Technorati Tags: Acting

Posted by delmer at 4:39 PM | Comments (8)

April 13, 2008

The Wells Dynasty

Haydn, Jack, Sam and I had dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings this past Friday night. As you may recall, Haydn currently holds the local store's record for the Blazin' Wing Challenge (at 2:28) and was, until Friday, the youngest person to complete the challenge.

What is the Blazin' Wing Challenge? Well, you have to eat twelve Blazin' Hot Wings in six minutes or less.  If you do it you get your picture taken and a free bright orange shirt.

We ended up at B-dubs as Jack wanted to have a crack at the challenge.

I'd had Blazin' wings a couple of times before.  I like wings and realizing (1) they have a high-calorie to nutrition quotient and (2) I can eat them just like they were potato chips, I'd order the Blazin' wings as a way to help me throttle back the speed with which I'd eat them. I'd typically eat one or two and sweat profusely while I tried to put the mouth-fire out with beer or Diet Pepsi.

The thought of going through twelve in six minutes seemed a bit intimidating but I thought I'd join Jack in his quest. Haydn figured he'd give it another go to see if he could better his time.  Sammo thought better of the whole thing and decided he'd watch and provide moral support.

Prior to the start Haydn commented that when he'd tried it the first time he hadn't noticed the burning so much until wing ten.

Jack started eating just a second after the wings arrived. This was a signal to the guy with the watch, and the Guinness Book of World Records rep, to start the timer.

"Is it time to go?" Asked Haydn

"Yes," I said.

"Now?"

"Yes," I said as I picked up my first wing.

"But I didn't know it was time to start."

In the end Haydn finished in 2:33, I hit 2:55, and Jack came in at 3:33. Making us a Blazin' Wing Eating Dynasty. (We are such the dynasty that if you type BW3 Blazin Challenge into a Google Images search just about every page past the first one contains images from WADLL.)

Without the late start, Haydn would have beat his old time. Had I been interested in looking like a super-glutton I could have done better as well. As it was I sort of casually worked my way through them.

Per Haydn's earlier remark, I can't say I noticed any uncomfortableness until about wing ten. And while it may have been wing ten when things got uncomfortable, the inside of my mouth burned for a fair amount of time after wing twelve.  I also had some nice forehead sweating going.

Jack and Haydn had individual pictures taken.  Sam and I had a group shot done.

In the end we each, all four of us, got shirts.

Posted by delmer at 10:01 PM | Comments (7)

April 6, 2008

In kid news today

Jack caught an outfield fly to retire the opposing team in a Little League game.  Even the parents on the other team cheered him. He also had a RBI.

Haydn ate twelve blazin' wings at BW3 in 2:28 which knocked almost a full minute off the previous record. He got a shirt and his name on the leader board.  He is the youngest person, by seven years, to have met the "12 Blazin' Wings in 6 Minutes Challenge."

While Samson didn't do anything of note with regard to sports or culinary feats, he was adorable (all day long) nonetheless.

Posted by delmer at 1:08 PM | Comments (0)

March 29, 2008

Baked Goods

"Hello," Haydn said after he picked up the phone.

"Who is it?" I asked, as he talked to the person on the other end.

"It's mom."

"Ooooh!" I said excitedly. "Ask her to bring us some cookies."

"What?"

"Ask her to bring us some cookies."  And from that point forward he ignored me until he handed me the phone so I could tell the ex about Jack's tooth. As he gave me the phone he said, "You know it's MY mom. Not your mom, right?"

Of course I knew it was his mom. Had it been my mom I'd have asked for white cake with white icing.

Posted by delmer at 8:45 PM | Comments (4)

February 23, 2008

More Scanned Photos

This photo was taken April 6, 1996, per the time stamp.   Jack is just under a year old and Haydn is two and a half. I'm very close to 36.

 

I've said a lot, in the past, about not being much of a smiler. My boys are always able to bring one out of me.

Posted by delmer at 12:34 PM | Comments (4)

February 20, 2008

My February 19

Let's take a look at my yesterday. We'll start at 4 p.m., which is when a meeting between my department and our Administrative Department was supposed to start.  The problem with the 4 o'clock start time is that the Engineering Department had the 3 o'clock slot and you know how engineers are; they drone on and on and on.

Well, maybe not.

Anyway,  4 o'clock came, went, and eventually turned into 4:15.  I had to pick a child up at 4:30 and while some of you might wonder about the sensibilities involved in leaving a meeting with the bosses thirty minutes into it, let me assure you it would have been OK.  As I hoped missing it entirely would be, as that's the route I took. (I hoped the meeting would end up canceled.)

I had the child picked up by 4:30 and had pork chops in the oven at 4:50.  

At 5 p.m. I had an Olympic bar on my back and was doing squats. The boys, all three of them, were in the house doing homework.

Dinner was served at 5:50.  Dishes were in the dishwasher at 6:15.

At 6:30 I had Haydn back at the school for a play audition.

The younger two boys and I shot back to work where they continued homework while I rebooted the phone system (it has to be done after hours) and did some quick work on a PC (that also had to be done after hours).

While at work I ran into the CEO who asked me about the meeting I missed. He was never peeved about it and, as a father, understood my absence.  And he saw me at work after hours, which is always good.

I had Haydn back in the van by 7:30 and we were at Staples minutes later.  We had to buy some transfer paper so we could make iron-ons for a shirt he needed for school the next day. (I picked up 50 DVD-Rs for $5.00, after Instant Savings)

Between 8 p.m. and 1:45 a.m Haydn made the iron-ons which we ironed onto a clean, white T-shirt. There were four iron-ons in all and it takes more time to do than you would think. 

He also put the finishing touches on a Puerto Rico project; this involved making a short video that he needed to burn to CD. Without going into all the details let me just say that the short-in-length video was 2.1 gigs in size.  I sent Haydn to bed at 1:45 and told him I'd take care of the CD (now DVD) burning and started a file transfer to my notebook. Then I went to bed.

This morning I got up just before 7 a.m. and copied the file to DVD. The audio kept dropping out so I listened to the original. It sounded fine.  I made another copy which also sounded like crap. I opened some software I owned and converted the file from and .avi to .mpg.  It reduced to 25 megs, copied to a CD nicely, and sounded fine.

I got the boys out of bed at 7:45 (a full 45 minutes later than usual) and they repaid my letting them sleep late by  getting ready and out the door in record time.  Haydn and I tested the CD on the way to school.

All was good.

It is certainly easy to wonder how a child's projects took until 1:45 a.m. to complete. Haydn started being apologetic for the lateness right around 11 p.m.  Looking back, well not even looking back, at the time I could see several ways the projects could have been completed faster (too much time on transfer design was one big time suck), but Haydn was having a good time with everything and I admired the attention he was paying to detail.  And this has never happened before.

[My favorite quote from last night: "What?! Two point one gigs? How?"  Which was an indication to me that Haydn learned the sad truth that just because a video is short in length, it isn't small in size.]

Posted by delmer at 7:22 PM | Comments (2)

January 31, 2008

My Eldest is Applying for a Scholarship

[And this is the letter he cranked out in about 10 minutes.]

 

January 31, 2008

Mrs. Teacher's Name

St. Brendan School

 

 

Dear Mrs. XXXX,

 

I feel I would be a good candidate for the Aquinas Scholarship Endowment Fund because I think I could accurately represent the high academic standards St. Brendan School and its teachers uphold.  

 

I would also like to address the fact that I am involved in many of the extracurricular options presented to me because I attend St. Brendan. I have been involved in Power of the Pen (8^th grade), Youth-to-Youth (7^th and 8^th grades), football (4-8^th grades), basketball (4^th grade), In-the-Know (6-8^th grades), Math Counts (8^th grade) and track and field (7^th and 8^th grades). I also served on the Student Advisory Board in 5^th and 8^th grades. I qualified for the Spelling Bee several years (1^st, 2^nd, 4^th, 5^th and 8^th grades). In 5^th grade, I placed 3^rd and went to the Diocesan Spelling Bee as an alternate. 

 

I am also active in the St. Brendan Parish and attend the V.E.R.Y. Edge meetings before Mass. I was an altar server as well in 5^th and 6^th grades. After Mass, I hand out bulletins to parishioners. I will represent St. Brendan this summer at Catholic Heart Workcamp as part of the LIFE TEEN program. 

 

I plan to attend St. Charles Preparatory School and continue my Catholic education there. I do realize that it is very academically challenging and I believe I am ready to accept that challenge. 

 

My mother has always told me that, no matter where I am, I am representing my school. Even without my uniform, I am representing St. Brendan and I would be proud to continue to do so through the Aquinas Scholarship Endowment Fund. 

 

Thank you for this opportunity and thank you for taking the time to read this letter.  

   

Sincerely,  

   

   

   

Haydn Wells 

 

Posted by delmer at 10:54 PM | Comments (4)

January 26, 2008

More Disney Memories

And now, my favorite Disney memories by child (and you'll notice the clever use of blurry photos in this entry).

Samson: Having him drive me around in the motorized race cars. This was Samson's favorite ride and we took several turns at it. What I thought was interesting was that Samson complained that the cars with the steering wheel on the right-hand side were harder to drive. I told him that I knew exactly what he meant.

 

Jack: Jack and I sat next to each other in the Aerosmith Roller Coaster. The cars whip around the track to the tune of "Dude Looks Like a Lady." The whole time Jack was sitting next to me he was singing along with as much as he knew of the song which was pretty much, "Doo doo… doo doo… dude looks like a lady.  Doo doo… doo doo… dude looks like a lady." Coincidentally, that's the same parts of the song I know.

 

Haydn: Spent a lot of time with the Disney Club that's set aside for older kids. He went off on his own, to this supervised activity, and came to the stateroom when he was supposed to, a bit after 2 a.m.  It was very late, and it was something new for us. Even though we were on a boat and he wasn't just running around wild, I had worry that I wouldn't normally have.  Haydn behaved responsibly and didn't do anything to make me regret the trust I had in him. 

 

 

 

Posted by delmer at 11:17 PM | Comments (1)

January 20, 2008

Off the boat and to Disney's Animal Kingdom Villas

Today the plan was to have breakfast at 7 a.m. and then roll off the boat. I, honestly, had some concerns about being able to mobilize everybody in time to make breakfast and was tickled when I woke up around 6.

Without getting into all the magic (some of it Disney, some of it mine) involved I'll skip to the part where the boys and I decided to scoot off the boat at 7 in an attempt to avoid the going-through-customs crowd.

Around 7:15 the all clear was given to exit the boat. As fast as we could walk we had our luggage, cleared customs, and were sitting on our butts drinking pop. It couldn't have taken five minutes.

When you compare this to the fear I had of standing in a customs line for an hour, with 2000 other people, with three boys poking and prodding each other … well, there is no comparison. [I have no problem waiting in line with other travelers as I have a full awareness that the line will eventually wither to nothing and I'll get to where I'm going. Teen and pre-teen boys lack that awareness.]

The downside to the whole thing is that we haven't eaten. Fortunately, we've been storing about 10,000 extra cruise and park calories per day for the past week and we're unlikely wither away to nothing.

Let's do a travel recap:

In Columbus: 

• At the airport early
• Zipped through security (Samson declared it the most fun he'd ever had)
• Had a great flight to Philly
• Great weather

In Philly: 

• Made it to our connecting flight without a problem despite the fact its gate was in a different county that the plane we flew in on
• Zipped through security again
• Great weather

In Orlando: 

• Took a train to get our baggage
• The World's Greatest Brother-In-Law picked us up at the airport

Getting on the Cruise: 

• We took a chartered bus
• Disney had plenty of people to help with check-in. It was painless
• As you know, the cruise was great

Getting off the boat: 

• Well, you read about it earlier in this entry

Things could not have been better, and this is a problem.  My kids have no appreciation for how rough traveling can be. (My niece, who joined us for the cruise portion, had her 6 a.m. flight canceled the day the boat was to leave. Naturally, she found out about it only after she drove, in the snow, to the airport.)

[Later that day, and too tired and lazy to care about tense change and opting instead to insert a blurb in brackets, he typed…]

The latter part of the day was spent at Disney's Animal Kingdom Villas. We got there some time before noon (via chartered bus) and had the boys swimming in the heated pool shortly thereafter. It was rather chilly out, though the boys didn't seem to mind.

I ordered pizza for dinner and had a moment of pause when I said, "We're at Disney's Animal Kingdom Villas" and the order taker asked me for the cross streets so the driver could find it. I thought maybe I'd called the wrong Papa John's; I'd thought correctly.

 

Samson and Jack swim. You'll notice the lifeguard is all bundled up.

 

Haydn crashed before the other boys. He'd been up late the night before and was going on four hours sleep.

 

A shot from my sister's room.

 

Zebras.

 

A shot from the pool area.

Posted by delmer at 11:52 PM | Comments (1)

January 19, 2008

Castaway Key

Today we docked at Castaway Key, the island Disney owns.  It was windy and the water choppy enough that glass bottom boat tours and some other things were canceled.

They were not things the boys had an interest in so we were unaffected.

And, despite the wind, it was still almost 80 F (very close to 28 C and, as I don't have Internet access at the moment I'm unable to check and I'll likely forget to proof this before posting ... 82 F would be 28 C).  And, (to throw another italicized "and" your way) the beach was in a protected area that didn't suffer from out-of-control wave action.

All the boys got off the boat and went to the island. Only Jack, Sam and I stayed to swim, dig in the sand, and drink beer. I did a lot of the swimming and all of the beer drinking. Jack and Sam did most of the swimming and all of the digging in the sand. (Haydn returned to the boat as he's 14… parents of teenagers will know what I mean and will understand it was best for all involved.)

We were all back on the boat by 4:30 and cleaned up and pretty for 5:45 dinner. (I forgot my camera, but I had duckling. We all had snails.)

When dinner ended Jack asked if he could go to Oceaneers Lab. 

Samson, despite my best efforts to enroll him in something, resisted and asked to go swimming.  He and I went to the Goofy Pool where he joined another boy in the water.  I joined another father who was sitting with hit back to the jumbo screen and using the light from one cartoon after another to read.

Samson grew tired around 10:15 and I had him tucked in in front of the TV by 10:30.

I was having an Amber Bock in the Promenade Bar in time to hear the duo there sing Come On Eileen.

 

This guy sounded just like Captain Jack Sparrow.

 

Samson, Donald, and Jack.

 

Goofy and a guy we don't know.

 

Goofy acting like he's just been caught by a big fish.

 

Boys in the ocean.

Posted by delmer at 7:38 AM | Comments (0)

January 18, 2008

Nassau

We arrived in Nassau early this morning.

We rolled out of bed several hours later.

Haydn got it in his head that it would be beneficial for all involved if he had on/off boat privileges independent of mine. That seemed like a really, really, bad idea to me and I opted for the you-stay-with-me model of visiting Nassau. (In all fairness, Haydn was more concerned that I might want to go off the boat when he didn't want to.

Yesterday, Jack heard an announcement in which a Del Sol stuffed dog was going to be raffled off. In order to win the dog, which changes color in the sun (sort of like a Wells without sunscreen, only more colorful), we had to attend a Shopping In the Bahamas meeting. Coupons for freebies were given away at the meeting and today the boys took me from jeweler to jeweler to collect free jewels.

Just about everything they got had a "value" of $50; the boys had trouble seeing it.

We are currently underway and heading toward Castaway Cay which is the island Disney owns. The ride is a lot smoother than it was last night.

 

The boys in Nassau

 

A cool looking boat with Jack's name in it.

 

The appetizer I had tonight: Salmon trio.  I had grouper for dinner.

Posted by delmer at 10:24 PM | Comments (9)

January 12, 2008

Through security

The boys and I have gone through security.  Samson said it was the most fun he's ever had (I'm not kidding).  I'm thinking I could have saved a bunch of money and just brought Sam to the airport and run him through the security checkpoint a couple of times rather than take him on a cruise.  We'll have to see how Disney stacks up to going through a metal detector and having his shoes X-rayed.

I'm plugged in and recharging and thought I'd post the photo of the boys I took earlier.

 

Haydn and Jack are giving their iPods a workout.  Jack is reading a gaming magazine I bought him.  I'm drinking a $2.10 Diet Coke.

Posted by delmer at 9:54 AM | Comments (3)

On the way

I bounced out of bed this morning at 6:15 a.m. and had the boys bounce out of theirs fifteen minutes later.  I made quick trip to Micky D's while they got ready and we were all fed, dressed and ready for our pickup at 7:15.

My friend, The Dark Haired Girl, who, at some point in the past made the mistake of telling me she's in the habit of getting up around 6 a.m. regardless of the day, scooped us up around 7:30.  We were at the airport by 8:00 (and that included a stop for a Diet Coke).  The boys and I had our bags checked curbside while our ride took off to her Yoga class. 

We are three hours early for our flight.  This might seem absurd to many, but parents will recognize the wisdom of mobilizing the troops first thing, before they have time to dig in and settle in front of televisions.  And there's something about rolling them out of bed early, for a 7:30 pickup, that creates a sense of urgency that a 9 o'clock pick-up lacks.

And I prefer to be early as much as anything.

The boys are doing a fine job.  Haydn and Jack are watching movies on their iPods.

My battery is dying.  I'll have to post this without the photo. Sorry.

Posted by delmer at 8:45 AM | Comments (2)

January 11, 2008

The Mouse

Have I mentioned that the boys and I are going on a Disney Cruise to the Bahamas?  We'll be spending a few days at Disney World as well.

We've just finished packing and blast off for Florida in eleven hours.

We've been planning this for about a year and  half.

I can't believe I didn't say anything sooner.

Posted by delmer at 11:52 PM | Comments (4)

December 26, 2007

The Final Christmas Video

This will be the final Christmas video and it's only a short piece of a larger item. When I started posting the videos I said something like you'll be able to see the kids grow and me shrink.

So, this is the one with me shrunk in it.  Please excuse the verbal grammar error.

Posted by delmer at 9:12 PM | Comments (5)

December 24, 2007

Christmases in Kentucky and Beallsville

From 1997 and 1998

In Christmas in Kentucky, Jack gets a set of Soccer Boppers. One of the things I regret most in all the Christmas videos is not taping long enough to get Jack testing them out with Haydn.  Jack had been going around tapping people with his Soccer Bopper ... tap tap tap.  He told Haydn to put one on and Bop him back.

Haydn laid him out.  Nobody got hurt and Haydn wasn't trying to hit Jack hard, it was just a size-difference thing.

This video ends abruptly; the version I've converted to DVD is full-length but I'm too lazy to dig it out and convert it here.

 

 

 

Christmas in Beallsville is one of my favorites and many of you have already seen it.  If you haven't, yet, watch this one all the way through until Jack says, "Yeah-yuh."  You won't be disappointed.

Sammo makes his first appearance in this video.

 

Posted by delmer at 2:26 PM | Comments (1)

December 23, 2007

He Bringed Me This

Christmas 1996 with Jack and Haydn.  There's an odd auto-focus thing going on during part of it.

I did, eventually, sort out Joy to the World. 

Posted by delmer at 3:38 PM | Comments (4)

December 22, 2007

Christmas 1995

Haydn and Jack

 

Posted by delmer at 8:56 AM | Comments (4)

December 15, 2007

Haydn's First and Second Christmases

Over the next several days you'll be able to see my children grow. (And I shrink toward the end.)

Haydn's first Christmas finds him in potato mode. That is, he isn't doing much of anything other than his potato impression.

During his second Christmas he'd gotten so many gifts that he got tired in the middle of unwrapping them and needed a nap.

Posted by delmer at 9:32 AM | Comments (6)

October 18, 2007

But it's a mud room

Dudes and Dudettes …

It's been a big couple of days.

I've had a lot of odd stuff at work (though today we had free lunch with ice cream cake served to us by the officers of the company — as much as this makes me sound like a big kid, I really do work at a great place).

And my last two evenings have been action packed. It seems like I've gotten home just in time to cook and then I've been off to football and soccer; and while they are both at the same field, and sort of at the same time, I really need to be there for the 2 1/2 hours that everything is going on.  Last night I did some work for the company while I watched the boys (if I know I'm going to get a bit of ice cream cake the next day I'm not put out by kicking in an hour or so of my time for the good of my employer); tonight I read a little bit of Gone on the PDA.

Following sports we've headed home and then I've been doing laundry.

With all of this going on I almost forgot to blog tonight and, up until just now, I didn't think I had anything to say. (But you'll notice it didn't stop me from starting a post.)

Parents will like this.

Non-parents will like it too as they sit back and enjoy their clean floors.

When Haydn took his cleats off tonight he he gave them a toss from the kitchen to the mud/laundry room.

I've told the boys, time and again, not to throw their shoes in the house; things like that lead to marks on the wall.

I reminded Haydn of this and he gave me the 'whattaya mean' face and a verbal "But I didn't hit the wall."

"That's not the point," I said, "You could have hit the wall. And look at the mud!"

"What mud?"

"That mud!"  I said pointing to the mud crumbs on the floor.

"That's not from my cleats," he protested.

"It most certainly is!"

"No it's not."

"What about this piece," I asked picking up a big chunk laying as if it had just peeled off the cleat next to it.

"That's old."

"It's still wet!"

"It's from Jack's cleat." 

Jack's cleats, I should point out were nowhere to be seen. I'm guessing that had I pressed for further explanation Haydn would have said his cleat had knocked Jack's cleat out of the way, much like those big rocks curlers throw/heave/curl, and that his cleat had fallen in the exact position needed to make it appear that the mud in question had peeled off his shoe.

I didn't feel like pressing the topic.  Instead I reached for the broom and dust pan. "Before you climb into the shower I want you to sweep this up."

That was two hours ago.

I just checked Haydn's handiwork as I was reloading the washer (so his football gear will be ready for Saturday). You will not be surprised to find that the broom and dust pan are right where I left them.  As is the mud.

I'll make sure he gets it in the morning. 

(You know, I should really run Google Ads on this site. I'd make a fortune on the Vasectomy links alone.)

Posted by delmer at 10:24 PM | Comments (11)

October 2, 2007

Software Needed

I have an idea to help us cut down on the amount of oil we need to import.

Today, as I filled the minivan up with gas, it occurred to me that almost all of my driving over the weekend had been taking kids to and from sports activities. 

Generally speaking, most of my driving involves taking a child someplace. I work about 1.75 miles from where I live and ride my bike to work as much as possible. What I'm getting at is that when I'm childless I can go a good, long time between putting gas in the tank.

Now, I'm not complaining about driving the kids hither and yon, but, with the appropriate software I think my drive could be shortened somewhat.

Saturday we got up just after 7 a.m. (The guys across the street get a 30-minute head start on the city ordinance that allows them to start building at 7:30 a.m.  They drive the big beeping thing around long enough to wake me up and then become quiet as church mice the rest of the morning).  I had Haydn to football by 8:30 and then drove home to get Jack ready for a 9:30 soccer game. It ended about the time football was over and I was able to pick Haydn up without him having to wait too long for me.

Sunday we had a football game, soccer pictures for two boys and a soccer game.  I dropped Haydn off at 11:30 for his game and drove the other boys to get pictures taken at 12:20 and 12:40.  One child went with another parent to his game (which would start an hour after pictures) while I waited with child two to get his picture taken. I then drove child two home (so he wouldn't be booooooored) and then went to the soccer game. After the game I was on my way to pick up Haydn (I had to miss football) when he called and said he was getting a ride home with another parent.

Last night we had a soccer game and football practice and they were an hour off from each other. I drove to soccer and watched a bit of the game. I then drove home and retrieved the football player and drove him to practice. After soccer I drove home. At 8:15 I retrieved the football player from his practice.

Earlier in the year it appeared that a lot of our games and practices were going to be at the same place and some at the same time. The last couple of weeks the schedule has morphed and not so much of that is happening.

With the exception of Monday's soccer and football game no two games this weekend were in the same place and those items weren't at the same time.

What we need is a program that will take all of the game and practice data for all of the sports a family participates in, across all the leagues those sports fall into, and crunches the data so that people are driving the fewest miles possible. It would have to take into account things like field location, coach availability, participant's home address, well, you get the idea.  

Version two of the software could incorporate some sort of snack-list feature so that all parents take an equal turn. 

Tonight the boys and I went to Wendy's to use up a gift card I'd gotten from work.

 

Posted by delmer at 10:44 PM | Comments (8)

September 6, 2007

Back to Work

Today was the first day back to work and I went in a bit early.  We had a printer problem while I was in England and a network printer object needed to be recreated.  I'd tried to fix it from the UK but ran into a problem. 

As it happens, the problem I ran into is that the web-based utility I use to set up printers will not run from my notebook.  When I was in England I thought the problem was related to VPN and distance issues.  Today, after spending an hour or so trying to get it to work and trying to sort out what was going on at the server to screw me, I decided to try the utility from another PC.  It worked and I had the printer back on the network in 5 minutes.

The PC it worked on it running Windows XP Pro with Internet Explorer 6.  the PC it wouldn't work from is running Windows CP Pro with Internet Explorer 6.  Go figure.

But enough of that.

I scooted out of work early (after all, I'd gone in early and skipped lunch) so I could hang with my kids and celebrate Haydn's 14th birthday.

Where do the years go?

Posted by delmer at 6:23 PM | Comments (4)

August 20, 2007

Shoe Buying

Jack needed shoes. Well, all the boys did but Jack got his Sunday. And this is how the shopping trip went.

The boys and I drove to Target, walked in the front door and headed to the shoe department. As we turned off a main aisle in to shoes — and I mean like two steps out of the main aisle — I saw a pair of blue and white tennis shoes and asked, "Jack, do you like these?"

"Yes. I do." he said. "And look, this pair is an 11 just like I wear."

We tried on an 11 and an 11 1/2 before going with the 11. Jack then said, "I'll be in video games," and I was left to shop a bit as his brothers trailed after him.

Total time spent shoe shopping: Fewer than 5 minutes. Fewer than $20.00 spent.

Jack truly shops like a man.

Compare that to:

Samson needed shoes.

Friday night we went to Dick's to look for Nike Shox. They didn't have Shox in Samson's size so we looked at many other pair. While we looked, Haydn found a pair of shoes he liked and we got those.

Shoxless, we drove to The Sports Authority. They were out of Shox in Samson's size. We looked at many other shoes but didn't find anything that met Sam's needs.

We drove to Famous Footwear and arrived 10 minutes after they closed.

Saturday we woke up and, after football practice, went to Famous Footwear again. They had no Shox at all and out of the 100s of pairs of shoes they had, Sam didn't find any he really liked.

We drove to Tuttle Mall to visit The Finish Line. No Shox in Sam's size.

We drove to Westland Mall, which is not all that far from Famous Footwear, to visit The Finish Line there. They had Shox although the Shox they had were $30.00 more than the already insane amount the Shox we were looking for cost. We tried on the ungodly expensive Shox thinking we'd find the size that fit and order the insanely expensive pair for delivery. There was only one problem, the insanely expensive pair was not available when we went to order it.

In the end we got the ungodly expensive pair of shoes and put some conditions on their wear. No skateboarding in them, no digging holes in them, no "anything" but wearing them to school.

I have never paid as much for a pair of my own shoes as I paid for Sammo's and I normally get two pair for what I paid for his. I sweat over every dollar if I'm buying something for myself but am a little quicker to spend money on the children (or so it seems). Samson made it easy to buy the shoes as he wasn't in a whiney-I-need-these state; he was being a little gentleman.

A little gentleman with expensive tastes.

(We've already had the conversation in which I explain that spending a fortune for kids shoes will not be a recurring Wells-family theme.)

Posted by delmer at 8:42 AM | Comments (4)

July 22, 2007

Paint Shop

Haydn has reworked this photo:

And turned it into this.

He wanted you to know.

Posted by delmer at 9:56 PM | Comments (5)

May 23, 2007

Master of the Semi-Obscure Reference

Haydn, the 13-year old, and I were having a disagreement over something. Let's say I was trying to get him to go to bed on time and he wanted to stay up a bit later.

"I promise I'll get right out of bed tomorrow without complaining," he said.

I countered with, "I wish I could believe you, but your track record isn't that good." Which meant, of course, that he'd made similar promises in the past and that he'd failed to keep them. That is, he got out of bed in a grumpy fashion.

"I was off by less than a foot," he replied quickly, leaving me to wonder what the hell he meant.

I changed the topic to picking crap up off the floor for a bit before tucking people in.

A minute later, as Haydn pulled the blankets up under his chin he said, "You didn't get it? Did you?"

"Get what?" I wondered aloud.

"When I said I was off by less than a foot."

"No. What did it mean?"

"In track … I needed to put the shot 26 feet and I made 25 feet 5 inches."

The boy gets 10s all the way across:

Posted by delmer at 11:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

April 29, 2007

Our Wacky Weekend

We had a big weekend in the Wells' household.

Friday night Jack had a baseball game in the drizzling cool rain at a location about an hour away from us. At the same time, Haydn had track practice at a location just a mile from where we live and then a dance to go to.

With the help of friends and teammates we were able to make it all work out.

Saturday we had track and baseball. One of the Track Moms was kind enough to provide transportation to and from Haydn's meet and picked him up at 8:15 a.m. After Haydn shot out the door Samson and I shot off to Mel's for breakfast (Jack would rather sleep than eat, I know that and, being Super Dad, try to respect his non-dangerous-to-himself wishes when I can). At Mel's we ran into one of our friends and Samson and I had post-breakfast ice cream, to celebrate her birthday, while she had eggs, toast and coffee. Always one to know how to show a woman a good time on her birthday (or the day after), I paid for her breakfast.

After breakfast, Jack, Sam and I drove to the same ballpark we'd been at Friday night. On the way there we stopped by White Castle so Jack could charge his batteries prior to the doubleheader. The first game was overcast and we had a chilly breeze blowing on us. The sun broke through for the second game and things were a bit warmer.

Saturday night we went to Target and bought Samson a practice amp for my 25-year old electric guitar — you know, for those times when things aren't noisy enough. The guitar required a bit of surgery to make it tunable — a spring had broken in whatever the part is that has springs (Hey, I don't know all the names of the parts … just about any bit that isn't called "a string" remains nameless to me … but I knew how to fix it. Wait, there might be a nut and a head. Also pickups Maybe tuning knobs. Oh, frets.)

Sunday we had a baseball game at noon. Jack's team won 12 to 2 and this led to a 4:30 game which created a conflict as Samson had soccer games at 3 and 4 at a field about 3/4 of a mile from where I live. The coach was kind enough to keep an eye on Jack and bring him home so I could get Samson to his first game pretty much on time.

After soccer Haydn and I worked out in the garage and then I mowed the yard and sprayed some weeds using the neighbor's male cat. Well, I really used a sprayer I have that I've cleverly painted a big P (for poison) on to distinguish it from the two other sprayers that I wonder why I own. I had to say the cat thing because the description of my weekend was starting to read like James Joyce (i.e., boring as hell) and it really wasn't like that at all. It was a great weekend.

Sunday night, after all the kids went to bed, I got out the fondue set, some paraffin, and did a little bit of evening up on the manly tree line.

Highlights from Jack's Games: Jack got on base a couple of times that I saw and may have gotten on once or twice when I wasn't around. One of his hits came when the team needed a hit; hits, as you know, are always good, but some come at better times than others. Jack stole second once. He hustled and tried hard. He had an error that he complained about but I missed seeing. He got a couple of hits to get on base and he walked to get on. He grounded out a couple of times and struck out a couple of times.

Highlights from Sam's Games: I was sitting on the side of the field talking with one of the dads and overheard, I thought, someone mention that they should put Samson at goalie as he does a good job there. Later, when Sam was doing goalie work, he scooped up the ball and gave it a big boot. I heard a man say, "Good gosh! Who kicked that?" to which a woman replied, "Samson. I told you he was a good goalie." Samson kicked the ball across midfield and about 1/2 between midfield and the opposing team's goal. He did it several times and I can't say that I saw anybody else kick the ball as far as midfield. It looks like all that time on the bicycle has done him good.

Personal Highlights: The boys had fun and were outside in the sun (and rain) bouncing around. They enjoy playing and I like the fact they like to play and feel good about their accomplishments.

Posted by delmer at 8:50 PM | Comments (3)

April 21, 2007

Rounding Out The Week

Wednesday I lost my phone to find it Thursday morning in my office and in vibrate mode.

Friday I lost my wallet only to find it in the washer and wet.

Today I rode The Mighty Schwinn to Grove City High School to watch Haydn put the shot. It's just over 20 miles from my door to GCHS and I arrived just a short bit before Haydn was up.

When I got off the bike I reached into my bike bag and, still suffering from handle-bar grip, pulled out my small camera bag within which was my camera. As I went to open the bag I sort of lost control of it and it tumbled form the ground. In all honesty I've dropped the camera several times and just a couple of weeks ago I knocked of off the picnic table onto the concrete patio while it was out of the bag.

As it tumbled to the ground I didn't even try to catch it; I knew it would be safe.

I picked it up, worked the kinks out of my hand, opened the bag, took out the camera, turned it on and watched the lens zoom out, and then went to frame a shot. The LCD was broken.

The camera still works, I just can't use the LCD viewfinder so I can't review photos I've taken and I'm going to be out of luck if I ever need to change the time or date.

This first photo was taken before the camera broke.

This is a picture of my seat and two of my water bottles. I'm going to share one of my cycling secrets with you — one that I think is very important. You'll notice that I prefer the urine-colored Gatorade. The reason for this is that while I'm not certain what magic the body employs to turn fluid a urine color I assume it must require some sort of energy that the body provides in the form of calories. When you're out on the road you need all of your caloric power to be going to the pedals, not to liquid-color conversion. I figure by choosing an already-urine-colored fluid I'm providing extra pedaling energy.

I eat only chocolate colored Clif Bars for a similar reason.

You might also notice that the nose of my seat is up. I think this is a trick of the camera angle or the way the bike is sitting on the driveway. I've angled the nose of the seat down just a bit for some extra-manliness comfort. Although if it is up a bit — or even level — that would explain a thought I had while I was pedaling: Why can't they design a seat that cradles the testicles like a hand does? That always feels good. The nose of the seat could even look like a hand and the seats could be named after women.

Younger guys might want the Beyoncé while guys my age might go for the Farrah Fawcett. And I'm talking the Charlie's Angels Farrah — not the present-day kinda-crazy Farrah … you know, unless that's what you're into.

I know I'd buy a Patricia Heaton, Courtney Thorne-Smith, Amanda Tapping and a Jamie Gertz without even giving them a test sit.

Of course, if the seats were made too well, it could lead to a state in which the rider needs to take a nap which isn't good when you're on bicycle. Then again, it could just as likely trigger the I-need-to-get-out-of-here-now response, which is good when you're on a bicycle.

[Women … before any one of you even suggests a Ron Jeremy for the gals … well, just think long and hard about it (no pun intended); is that really what you want when you're trying to keep SUVs from running you down. You'll be safer with a regular seat. If you need to you can hit a railroad track hard once in a while.]

The following photos were taken post-LCD cracking.

Haydn in the pre-shotting-the-put zone.

Haydn lets it fly.

Ahh, um. After I got home I rode the bike another 10 miles to make it a total of almost 52 miles. I celebrated by washing a big, honkin' chocolate Clif Bar down with a cool, refreshing, yellow Gatorade.

And then I had some pizza.

Posted by delmer at 8:46 PM | Comments (2)

March 31, 2007

The first track meet

Haydn is on the school track team as a shot putter. Today was the first meet and the field events were to start at 11 a.m. Haydn and I arrived at 10:30 and I did not sit down again until after 5:30 p.m.

I worked the long jump pit from about noon until 5:15. My job was to hold the end of the tape with the zero on it as part of a two-man measuring team. I know it doesn't sound like a hard job but it did involve a lot of up and down movements followed by a lot of standing. I'm currently sitting in a recliner and beat — just a minute ago I got a nice leg cramp and I'll bet you that I'll have more muscle soreness tomorrow than I did on any of the longer bike rides I've taken.

Have I mentioned yet that it was raining from the moment we arrived up until about 4 p.m.? Some of the rain came in drizzles but there were periods of really nice serious rains; I'm talking something just a half-step shy of Forrest-Gump-in-Vietnam downpours.

The long jump was the last event to finish and by the time we packed everything in everybody else was gone. At least we didn't have a hard time getting out of the parking lot.

The whole thing, despite the soreness, was a pretty good time. I'm amazed at how far some seventh and eighth graders can jump.

Another plus of working the long jump pit is that I could see Haydn putting the shot from where I was. And I was close enough to see but not so close as to cramp his style.

Posted by delmer at 9:29 PM | Comments (3)

March 27, 2007

A Break From The Action

We'll return to The Trip Out West later today, but for now we'll take a break to relate two other stories.

Item One:
A couple of days ago Jack, the 11-year old, was in the downstairs bath tub when he gave a yell: "I broke the soap."

"Do you mean like into two pieces," shouted Haydn, the 13-year old, back, "Or has it lost it's ability to clean?"

Non-parents of boys are probably thinking: Being a smartass seems to run in the family.

Parents of boys are probably thinking: That explains soooo much.

I can't tell you the number of times I've had a child assure me that he'd used soap during a recent bathing when all evidence suggested otherwise. Never in a thousand years would I have thought that the soap was broken — I'd always thought the child was exaggerating his soap usage.

Item Two:
Once in a while I'll do some computer work for a friend. I typically charge a can of Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi for such work. It the job is one-site I pretty much drink diet pop the whole time I'm there. Once in a great while the rewards are far greater than caffeinated beverages. (Not in a bad-jazz porno-flick kind of way. I'm pretty sure we're years away from seeing a movie in which the Geek Squad is called in to help a buxom blonde and before you know it pocket protectors and orthopaedic shoes are flying hither and yon. As I've said before, IT doesn't have good-porn potential. Well, I guess something could be done with the Brylcreem the supernerds use to keep their hair looking just right. Maybe.)

Once in a while logistics prevents any pop at all from being provided. That's when things like this happen.

My ex-sister-in-law had a problem that I said I'd look at. She lives almost three hours from me and had the computer sent over via the ex-wife. I fixed the problem, and realizing that my ex-brother-in-law probably missed me sorely (much like you do when you reach the end of a blog entry and realize it is likely to be a whole day before I post anything else) I decided to put a picture of me on the desktop as his wallpaper. A small picture, and centered not tiled.

This is the picture.

I had left the non-ninja photo on my monitor while I tended to something else. Before I could connect it to the ninja photo a coworker walked in and said: "Is that Captain America? … no … wait … it's you."

Which I thought was kind of funny ad I'm made the same crack before.

I wonder if my ex-brother-in-law will know it's me?

Posted by delmer at 6:41 AM | Comments (3)

March 8, 2007

Christmas in Beallsville -- 1998

You undoubtedly have the most adorable children/nieces/nephews/mailman ever ... I cannot, and won't even try to, compete with you there.

However, I do have the second-most-adorable group of children in the world. Not bad considering there's about 6 billion of us.

Like any group of people, the boys don't always get along. However, there is that one day, each year, that they set aside their differences and play nice together -- which is one day more than the remaining 6 billion of us do -- and that's Christmas.

The following clip is from Christmas 1998. Jack, the middle child, cracks me up in this one.

(And in all fairness to the boys, they normally get along pretty well together.)

Posted by delmer at 11:17 AM | Comments (0)

February 8, 2007

Plowing

As you know I have super parents.

I don't just say this because I know the folks read my blog and I'm hoping for that last, big, change in the will that leaves me solely in charge of the vast Wells holdings. I say this because I mean it.

Earlier in the week, wait, before I go any further, school has been out all week due to cold. Yesterday it may have been due to cold and snow -- I'm no weatherman, I don't know.

You'll note that yesterday's blog entry started:

The last two days school has been canceled the night before due to cold. Yesterday and Monday when I got to work it was -2.

Those days I got to work before 8 and at least one morning I was there before 7 a.m. due to the fact school was closed and I didn't need to get boys on the bus.

Today I rolled into work at 8:30 after driving the boys to school. It is -2 F (-18.8 C) and -18 F (-27.7) with the wind chill. It is at least as cold today as it has been all week and it likely feels colder than it has been; last night they announced a Wind Chill Advisory until 10 a.m. today.

I puzzle over why we had school today and not the rest of the week. My kids are out tomorrow for Parent/Teacher conferences.

Anyway, earlier in the week I told the story of how much harsher winters were when my dad was little and how much heartier children were then.

If you don't want to click back to the story let me describe a birthday card I once saw that captures the essence of that entry: On the outside it said, "Dad, I know you'll like this birthday card." And on the inside it said, "I had to walk 10 miles, uphill, in a snowstorm to buy it." Which led me to believe that fathers everywhere make it a habit telling tales about when they were younger.

One day dad and I were driving along talking about something that led to him telling me that when he was little his dad (my grandpa) used to plow a 40-acre field walking behind a mule that was pulling a plow.

That sounds like a lot of work, and I may have said as much.

"And," dad continued, "When he was done with that field he had another 40-acre field across the road that he had to plow."

Which, again, sounded like a lot of work but also made me wonder if dad wasn't pulling my leg a little.

"Do you have pictures of this I asked," trying to suggest that I was on to him.

"No. But I remember walking behind him and breaking up dirt clods with my toes." The way he said it was like he was bringing forward a memory (I won't be able to describe it well, you know how I am) and I knew he was sharing something that had actually happened. (I remembered breaking up dirt clods with my toes in the back yard and could see dad doing it in my mind.)

The oddest part of this whole tale -- or the part I think is most odd -- is that grandma maintained that after grandpa spent a day out plowing he'd come in at night and not even stink. I don't know if grandma had sinus problems, maybe walking in the hot sun all day burned the stink off a man, or maybe grandpa carried a can of Tag Body Spray in his pocket next to the Mail Pouch.

What I do know is that Haydn can wake up in the morning and be kicking a serious funk off his body; he's asleep and kicking up a stink!

I'm thinking of getting the boy a mule and a plow.

(Hey, I found this while looking for the Mail Pouch link.

Posted by delmer at 8:47 AM | Comments (1)

February 5, 2007

No school

Yesterday's entry was rather short, so I'll repost it here in it's entirety:

It's was about 10 degrees F when I took the following photo of the boys and myself. I thought it would be a nice change from me dressed as a Ninja and I thought that mom and dad would like to see a current shot of the boys (they've been out of state and haven't seen the boys for about a month, I think.)

It wasn't until I opened the photo on my computer that I noticed my resemblance to Earl from the TV show. For those of you that aren't familiar with the show, Earl is never able to keep his eyes open when he gets his picture taken.

Ignore the part where I mention I'm Earl-like. You want to focus on the part where I say it's 10 degrees F (-12C). And before we go any further, let me point out it is currently -2 F (-18.8 C).

Last night the boys and I were watching the news looking to see if school was closed today. I never dreamed it would be, but we'd been flipping around on the TV and had stumbled across some closings, which got the boys interested.

One of the stations runs the early news and they were interviewing a woman who said that if school was open tomorrow she would drive her child to school to keep her out of the cold. The woman went on to say that if it is too cold the schools should be closed for the safety of the children so they don't have to go out into the elements.

Jack (at 11) gave this a hearty "Yea!" and then went on to explain that sometimes it was too cold for school to be open.

In the photo below, at 10 F, Jack is the middle-height child in front of me. He's wearing a short-sleeve T-shirt and has his coat open. In a rare move his hood is up. During the course of running our errands I turned to him once, as we exited somewhere, and asked where his coat was. He hadn't worn it in.

Of course, none of us have our coats closed. and nobody is wearing anything particularly heavy.

For my mother:
After this photo we climbed into an already-running and heated minvan. And the boys and I have discussed how even limited exposure to extreme cold can cause a person problems. Rest assured that by last night, when we left Kroger and the had dropped while the wind picked up, everybody was happy enough to be bundled up.

Posted by delmer at 8:55 AM | Comments (1)

February 4, 2007

My Name is Earl

It's was about 10 degrees F when I took the following photo of the boys and myself. I thought it would be a nice change from me dressed as a Ninja and I thought that mom and dad would like to see a current shot of the boys (they've been out of state and haven't seen the boys for about a month, I think.)

It wasn't until I opened the photo on my computer that I noticed my resemblance to Earl from the TV show. For those of you that aren't familiar with the show, Earl is never able to keep his eyes open when he gets his picture taken.

Posted by delmer at 9:53 PM | Comments (0)

January 21, 2007

When the Snow is on the Wellses

Snow came to Columbus, Ohio today and since Hilliard bumps up right next to it, we got some of the overspray. The boys and I hit the slopes right at noon and stayed there until just after 2 p.m. They did some sled riding and snowboarding ... I did some keeping the van warm and reading.

The slopes we hit were at the Hilliard City Park -- the one with the larger pool. We don't have a whole lot of hills around us, but the park is home to a pretty big mound of dirt. I don't know why it's there -- I can only assume so kids can ride sleds in the winter.

After the fun at the park we shot home where we were greeted by two of our neighbor friends. My boys came in just long enough to change into something dry and then went out again to build a snow fort. I stayed in to do laundry.

Post snow-fort building the boys returned home and changed into something else dry. They had a quick bite and then we decided to run an errand. On the way back the boys wanted to show me the fort they'd built so we stopped by. I foolishly though the fort might have some sort of walk-around entrance. It didn't and access could be gained only by climbing up over the top. Sixty-six percent of the boys were snow covered before I could stop them.

Back home, they changed into something dry and then got busy quizzing me about when dinner would be ready.

The minivan looks so peaceful in the snow.

So does the neighbor's trampoline.

Haydn, bundled up.

Jack in the snow.

Jack with sled.

The Hill

Another shot of The Hill

Another shot of the park.

Sammo bundled up with his snowboard.

Sammo again.

Posted by delmer at 4:52 PM | Comments (2)

January 18, 2007

Things I've Learned from My Children

Just recently I've learned:

From Haydn: That I was putting my MP3 player earbuds in incorrectly. I noticed that when he wore his the orientation of the buds were different from how mine were. When I place my earbud in my ear I sort of wedge it in and crank it down -- it wasn't always the most comfortable fit but the way it went in seemed to make the most sense to me in that the wire from the bud would be hanging straight down. The wire from Haydn's buds sort of point forward more toward the front of the lobe. It provides a more comfortable fit.

From Jack: And this I knew, but some adults seem to have trouble with it. "Honesty is the best policy." A week ago I went to school to retrieve an ill Jack. As it happens he had forgotten to do a piece of homework and was going to get a homework slip from his teacher -- however -- since I was picking him up early he could have gotten out of it as the homework wasn't due until later in the day. This wouldn't do. In the interest of fair play to the Catholic school system, Jack ratted on himself to his teacher and let her know he had failed to do the assignment. I know what you're thinking ... admitting your mistakes and taking full responsibility for them seems so un-Catholic and generally un-Christian. Politics are certainly not in his future.

From Sammo: Sam and I were at a hockey game -- The Ohio Junior Blue Jackets -- a few weeks ago. I know very little about hockey and, while I'll see every game Sam wants to go to, was bored out of my mind. It looks like it might be fun to play, but I can't sort out why anybody would sit and watch this. I guess some of the music they played during dead pucks was pretty good. Anyway, toward the end of the game I noticed that the goalie for the opposing team (maybe the Junior Indiana Ice) was gone. I asked Sam -- my eight-year old -- what had happened and the told me they had pulled their goalie. My first thought was, if they win maybe they'll be able to get a young lady to pull their goalies for them. My second thought was, what does that mean? and that's the thought I shared with Sam. He told me that if a team pulls their goalie they can put another player on the ice, and when I looked, I noticed that the Indiana Ice (if that's who they were) did seem to have more guys trying to bang the puck into the Junior Blue Jacket's net.

This is totally unrelated to the above, but, I'm proofing this at work and an announcement was just made that at 11 a.m. pizza and cake were going to be served in the Cafeteria. I love it here.

(Update:This entry was posted at 10:47. At 10:54 the first piece of comment spam hit it. I think this is a record for WADLL.)

Posted by delmer at 10:47 AM | Comments (4)

November 22, 2006

A note from my son

This came in the mail, addressed to The Parents of Haydn Wells

Dear Dad,

I am writing this because I have to for Science class. I am also writing this letter to say thank you for caring for me and loving me. You have always helped when I really needed you to. You took me to football practice and supported me driving to the games. You have paid for my admissions to the dances for me. You bought me a guinea pig. For all this, I want to say thank you.

Sincerely,

Haydn

While I try not to embarrass my children with my blog, I just had to post this.

Posted by delmer at 9:17 AM | Comments (5)

September 24, 2006

The Way Back Machine

Way back, before What's a Delmer Look Like became non-stop blathering, it's purpose was to keep my friends and family current with respect to what my kids were up to.

(Really, there's a good chance that if I went to check the accuracy of that statement I'd find I was wrong. I do know that the original Delmer Dot Com existed for that purpose. I'm guessing that, as Movable Type makes updating pretty easy, that this site never held too true to that thought.)

In any case. We'll pretend.

Here's some photos taken on September 14. A wise person will note that the picture names suggest they were taken on September 23rd. A wiser person would know that I made a mistake when I named the files for this upload. The regular readers among you will know I have no intention of correcting that error.

Sammo makes a move

Sammo as goalie

Showing some hustle

Happy Jack

Jack on the field

The water jug on Jack

Haydn's backside

Dolphins

More Dolphins

Haydn's frontside

Haydn

Posted by delmer at 11:51 AM | Comments (0)

September 7, 2006

Dolphin Training Camp 2006

I believe professional football kicks off tonight. I believe this as I read it on Rob's Blog and, thus far, Rob seems pretty reliable.

I'm not a big football fan. Or, generally speaking, a fan of any of the spectator sports. At least not to the point that I'll make an effort to sit and spectate them. If my dad has an OSU Men's Basketball game on I'll watch with him and I'm honestly surprised at how involved in the game I get. Football is the same way; if it's on I'll sometimes get engrossed in a game.

All of that is more than I'd intended to say about the lack of whatever gene it is that makes me an insane sports fan.

What I wanted to say, in honor of tonight being the start of the NFL season, is that Dolphin Football starts September 17.

This is one of the photos I took during the super-secret, right-out-in-the-open Dolphin Training Camp. The tallest kid on the squad is Haydn. He's sort of looking at the camera and I'm sure that, had I had a better zoom, you'd see in his eyes a hunger, a desire, a burning intensity ... all of which when put together seem to scream -- daaaaad, sit down. you're embarrassing me.

What can I say. He's 13.

Posted by delmer at 7:46 AM | Comments (2)

August 10, 2006

The Guinea Pig

Benji, the Guinea Pig has gone on to the great beyond. It was very sad.

I'd been in bed for a couple of hours when Haydn woke me up and asked me to come to his room. I knew something was wrong and said, "Oh no. Benji hasn't died, has he?"

He had.

We did a moment or two of funeral prep and then went back to our beds. And I laid awake for two hours stressed out about how Haydn's sadness. (Twenty minutes into this short-lived period of insomnia I could hear Haydn sawing logs.)

This morning I took the cage downstairs, did a quick emptying of the bedding, and then buried Benji. I didn't want Haydn to have to deal with it. He may have wanted to do the burying himself -- I don't know -- but I'm hoping that making a marker will be enough.

This event was complicated by the fact that Haydn is spending some time alone today -- babysitterless -- while I'm at work. Our agreement was I'd let him sleep as long as he wants and he'll call me when he wakes up. I didn't want to wake him at 8 a.m. to bury a pet and I didn't want him to spend the day home, alone, with a dead pet.

Posted by delmer at 7:27 AM | Comments (6)

June 22, 2006

Lost and Found

I lose my gym membership card about once a year. It's nothing I plan -- I've checked my calendar and I've never penciled it in (or, in my case, put it in my Palm T/X, synced it to my computer and then zapped it into my watch by aiming the watch at my computer monitor while it flashes white bars) -- it's nothing I understand.

I keep the card in a storage bin at the bottom center of my sweet ride's dash assembly. It is always to the far left and is wedged there among tapes the boys and I never listen to but that I don't bother to toss (anybody here familiar with Dinosaur Cafe? Maybe the Sesame Street tapes ... C is for cookie, that's good enough for me ...).

It was about 28 months ago that I went to grab the gym card to discover it was not where it should have been.

The folks at the gym were OK with the missing card and I explained that I'd spend some time looking for it after work. I tore the van apart. I checked the house even though I'm sure the card has never crossed the threshold. I couldn't find it.

Replacement cards are $10.00. I bought one.

Roughly 12 months would pass. I repeated the above and eventually dropped another $10.00.

Roughly 12 months would pass again -- bringing us to about 6 months ago. I was at the do-it-yourself carwash and had most of the van doors open as I vacuumed the beast. As I walked around the van, my gym card was laying on the pavement. The wind whipping through the van had snatched it from it's safe, next-to-Dinosaur-Cafe location, and whisked it outside.

Is this how I'd lost all the cards? I could see how it might be. I clean the van often enough that the vacuuming scenario would make some sense. I've been with the boys several times when we've had the doors open and tornado-force winds have whipped through the van.

Finally the puzzle was solved and I had broken the cycle.

About a week ago I was in the van alone and looked down between the seats. My gym membership card was laying on the floor. Ah ... this is how they get lost, I thought as I picked it up to return it to the storage area.

Beneath the card was ... my gym membership card. And beneath that, Jack's library card.

This was a puzzler. I had two gym cards in my hand as I checked the storage area. It, naturally, had in it my gym membership card.

WTF.

The cards had been missing for more than one and two years. I didn't remember Jack having a library card at all. And now they appear in a stack on the floor between the seats. I was very close to contacting The Phoenix thinking that maybe he'd have some insight. Maybe I had a trans-dimensional thing going on in the mini van (which would make it even sweeter).

I had cleaned and vacuumed the minivan numerous times -- I'd had the glove box emptied -- I'd had that locked thing underneath the passenger seat emptied -- I'd never seen the cards. And here they were!

Unlike television, the explanation that makes the most sense is often the simplest. At my house the simplest explanation often involves one of three children.

At dinner that night I asked, "Does anybody here know what my gym card looks like."

"Yes," Haydn offered, "I found two of them."

"Where?"

"When I was looking for that battery," the one I remembered him dropping in the van near the storage thing, "I found a secret pocket under the cassette tapes. The cards were in there."

The secret pocket is the heater vent that blows air across the floor of the van. I'm guessing I'd had the cards -- months apart from each other, mind you -- sitting on the carpet when I applied the brakes and that they'd slid forward into the heater vent.

So. If you've lost anything in a minivan, take a look in the heater vent beneath the dash between the seats. It may be there.

(Women ... this does not apply to your innocence.)

Posted by delmer at 7:01 AM | Comments (1)

June 21, 2006

Haydn's Knee Follow-up

As you may recall, Haydn, my 12-year old, had knee surgery to correct OCD ... osteocondroital defect. Osteocondroital is probably misspelled -- I'll bet the spell check isn't going to be much of a help with it.

Yesterday we had a follow-up visit.

When the doctor came in he said something like, "Things are looking good. You can hardly tell there was anything wrong." I thought he was referring to the arthroscopic incisions, dots actually, that remained on Haydn's knee from the surgery.

Actually, he was referring to the X-rays we'd had taken a few minutes earlier.

He held them up to the light to give me a look. I've pointed out, in the past, that I'm no Marcus Welby and that assuming I'd have any idea what an X-ray was supposed to be telling me was giving me way too much credit. In this case, however, I was fairly certain that I was looking for a sort of rounded, smooth knee joint. Which is what I saw.

Things could not have been better. It looks like blood flow has increased to the knee and the knee is developing as it should.

Restrictions on Haydn's activities have been removed for the most part. He can't do leg extensions yet. No squatting with weights. No leg presses with weights.

We weren't doing any of those things anyway.

So ... all is well.

Posted by delmer at 7:08 AM | Comments (6)

May 19, 2006

Haircut

Last night I decided I'd cut the boys' hairs. Haircuts at the barber come in about $30.00 for three boys -- it may be $27.00 ... it may be $36.00. I should probably pay closer attention.

If the boys let me cut their hair I give them $4.00 each. That's $12.00. We all win.

I wanted to do buzz cuts all the way around. Jack declined at the last moment and went for a trim over the ears. He thinks he'll be able to get by all summer without a haircut and would like to have a headstart on the growth.

Sammo when the same route.

I'm not sure if their plan had anything to do with the fact they'd already received their $4.00, but I went with it anyway. As it happens, Haydn's cut more than made up for the lack of any hair I may have gotten off the other two boys.

He wanted to be shaved bald.

We called his mom to make sure she was OK with it. We checked the student handbook to make sure there was nothing about not-being-bald in there. Everything seemed to point toward a bald head.

I thought I'd go with a #1 comb on the clippers first. Maybe that would be good enough. I thought it was good enough. Haydn didn't.

He went to the bathroom with my beard trimmer. I decided he was determined and that helping would probably yield a better result.

I took the #1 comb off the hair clippers and went over the head with the bare cutter. I then lathered the head up -- using almost two cans of shaving cream -- and used a safety razer to shave closer. I repeated this last step one more time.

Haydn certainly looks bald headed. Not Telly Savalas or Yul Brenner bald. Certainly more bald than Sinead O'Connor.

He could be balder. But he's still pretty bald.

This morning his scalp had a velcro-like feeling to it.

How does it look? Well, considering the boy has a milk-carton head, pretty good.

And really ... it was probably something a lot less than two cans of shaving creme.

Posted by delmer at 10:34 AM | Comments (1)

May 1, 2006

New Bicycles

The boys and I did some shopping Saturday. We got a couple of new bikes, helmets and miscellaneous gear.

Sam decided he really needed a BMX-style bicycle helmet and since I'm all about anything that will keep a helmet on a kid, I went for it. Jack's helmet is black and looks like a batter's helmet, sort of; the way it is put together assures that it won't ride high on his forehead which seems to be the problem we typically have.

Another problem with bike helmets is that they are sometimes packaged in such a way so that you can't put them on and do a test fitting. I had to borrow some nail clippers to defeat the wire-tie that was holding the straps up inside a couple of the helmets in order to make sure they fit well. (And even then I got the wrong helmet for Haydn. His head is bigger than I gave him credit for -- as we were riding around I decided I didn't like the way his helmet fit and ended up buying him a new one.)

Sixty-six percent of the boys and I had our inaugural ride on Saturday; Jack was off playing and wouldn't make it. On Sunday we all hit the road. Everybody did a good job. Everybody seemed to have an awareness of traffic and pedestrians. Nobody crashed.

Samson looked a bit like Darth Vader.

Posted by delmer at 2:44 PM | Comments (0)

March 30, 2006

Poop-a-loop-a-lus

I was reminded of the following story by this entry from Baby Poop and Business Suits.

Haydn was probably three and, despite the fact he'd been potty trained for a good long while, was in the habit of tracking down an adult he made a noteworthy poop. The adult would make the trek into the bathroom, admire Haydn's work, and then make the appropriate comments.

On one such occasion I remember being genuinely impressed and remarking, "That's incredible. It's as big as your arm!" It really was incredible and my wonderings ran from "How could something that large come out of you?" to "What can we change about your diet to keep things like this from happening again?"

A day or two passed after the big-as-your-arm poop.

Haydn had moved his bowels again and was pretty sure I'd want to see his handiwork. Hey, and why not? He was obviously putting some time and effort into these things. Who knew what might come out? (Well, I had a pretty good idea. But isn't a really really big poop just half a step away from a golden egg?)

"Haydn," I said, "This is very impressive."

"Yea," he said, his tone a little less enthusiastic than mine, "It's not as big as my arm."

Ahhh. The boy had goals. Even at that early age.

(Hey, here's another post about poop via Notes from a Very Small Island ...)

Posted by delmer at 8:01 AM | Comments (1)

March 22, 2006

Fatherly Stress

Samson is 8-years old today and decided we should go to McDonald's for breakfast.

Those of you unfamiliar with Hilliard, Ohio weather may be surprised to find it snowed ever so lightly yesterday. Just enough to melt from snow form to water form which allowed it to immediately turn to ice form.

Haydn, on crutches and still recovering from knee surgery, was out of the van first. I helped the other two get out of the van while he started toward the door.

What happen next happened in real-time -- that is, not in slow motion as in the manner that life's more traumatic event pass -- so I should have realized right away things were going to be OK. However, worry suppressed everything I knew about movie special effects and I was thrust into worried-parent mode.

Haydn was not using good crutch sense as he motored forward. He is supposed to approach a curbed sidewalk and stop with the crutches at the curb. I can't remember if the crutches move up first or if the good foot moves up first, but I am certain that a person is not supposed to carelessly fling himself forward over a curb onto a sidewalk. Especially where ice is involved.

Haydn was kind enough to demonstrate the foolishness of such a move.

He slipped and hit the sidewalk on his side. He started screaming.I know it hurt. I felt horrible. Someone in the drive-thru lane stopped and asked if he should call an ambulance; I thanked him and assured him we were OK.

A gentleman stepped out of McDonald's and asked if we were OK -- he was wearing a Franklin County Children's Services Jacket. Had I been Tim Allen, Jim Belushi or Ray Romano in any of their respective sitcoms I would have probably been hauled off to jail; as I'm not I was pretty sure my, "I think were OK" was going to be enough to keep The Man from locking me up.

The McDonald's people checked on us. I told them we were OK, that the fault was all ours, and that we didn't possess the 'suing' gene. I immediately felt bad for making that joke.

Toward the end of breakfast I asked Haydn how he felt. "I'm embarrassed," is all he said.

Ah. Only 12 and already a typical man. I think he'll be fine. (Just to make sure I made the necessary calls to his surgeon's nurse ... It's all part of being super dad.)

Posted by delmer at 2:28 PM | Comments (3)

March 8, 2006

Swordfish

Haydn was about 6 and we decided we'd go to Red Lobster.

We sat looking over the menu and Haydn spied Swordfish under catch of the day. I noticed that swordfish was Thursday's catch and, as we were there on a non-Thursday, suspected it might be unavailable.