May 23, 2008
Dreaming of Bloggers
The other night I had a dream about a fellow blogger. I've dreamed about other bloggers before so I can't say this is really out of the ordinary for me.
In this dream I was outside near some short bushes. I was brushing my teeth and had Avitable on the cell phone. The point of the dream seemed to be that even though I was brushing my teeth and was talking to Avitable, he couldn't tell I was brushing my teeth and I remember thinking I was doing a pretty good job of speaking clearly through the toothpaste.
Why, why, why?
I believe he made an appearance due to the fact I checked my calendar yesterday to see if I could make his Halloween party. (You know, I'm not even sure I'm invited; the blog entry about it made it sound like an open invitation but maybe I should check.)
As it happens, it is a child-free weekend for me.
Posted by delmer at 9:19 PM | Comments (10)
March 24, 2008
Asian Apples
Last night I had a dream in which I turned into a dinosaur of some sort, but just briefly. I was walking on a narrow path that had a canopy of greenery going over it so that it was like I was walking through a tunnel. Just a few steps down the path I encountered a brownish orange dinosaur that seemed sort or snakelike at first but that quickly became big-lizard like. I turned and ran, and as I ran I became brownish-orange and dinosaurish, but just for a second.
At the mouth of the path I took a quick left. There was a triple bunk bed there and hanging off the end of the bed was several strings of beads like you'd see separating rooms in movies involving hippies. I jumped and grabbed the beads and pulled myself to the top bunk.
The dinosaur who had been pursuing me had, at this point, disappeared and in its place were three young Asian girls. The lead Asian girl made it to the top of the bunk and sat down and showed me how to make Kung-Fu hands.
Also during the dream, and I think even before the dinosaurs appeared, I mentioned to someone that we'd moved from the Jurassic period to the Icelandic period.
Analysis:
Dinosaurs: The boys and I went to see Horton Hears a Who (young kids will like it — adults should take something to read) and during the previews saw the teaser for the new Ice Age movie. There was a part involving a serpent-like dinosaur that turned out to be the tail of a T-Rex (who I believe was orangish-brown).
Kung-Fu: There was also a teaser for the new Jackie Chan / Jet Li movie. Also, per the stereotype, all Asian people know some form of martial art.
Asian Girls: There is a show on G4 called something like Ninja that, I think, comes out of Japan. It's a game show in which contestants try to overcome odd obstacles and it's fun to watch. The most recent episode featured 100 women contestants. Most of them are in their 20's and very cute.
Last night we had dinner at an Asian Buffet (someone tried to pin me down on this and asked me if it was Chinese, Thai, Korean, etc. I don't know. The name of the place is Apple Buffet and I suspect you can get apples in just about all of those countries. They have General Tso's Chicken but I'm not sure that's a true indication of country. They also have dog. (No they don't, but if they did I'd try it)).
As we left the restaurant I noticed a large calendar with a young Asian gal on it. The calendar was from some sort of Asian food supply place that is located in Louisville and I couldn't help but think that Louisville is one of the last places I'd expect to find an Asian-food supply place. I know a Chinese gentleman whose last name is "Lu" and while Louisville may be named for one of his ancestors who explored and helped settle the briar-hopper region of the country, I think it is unlikely.
Jurassic: At dinner last night one of my kids commented that granny grew up during the Jurassic period.
Icelandic: You know, if you move far enough north into Canada, the government actually pays you to live there… or so goes the line from Drillbit Taylor (another movie we saw and more to my liking). I think Minnesota actually used to give land away to people willing to move to particular parts of that state (I don't know why I think that). Haydn thinks if you move far enough north in Sweden that land is free too. All of these cold-land themes came up this weekend … Iceland sounds very cold (though I believe naming Iceland thusly was some sort of Viking disinformation campaign).
Triple Bunk Bed: We had one in our dorm room, Freshman year in college.
Why I turned into a dinosaur: Like I said, I made the dinosaur transition just briefly. And it wasn't snapping-your-finger fast — I gradually, though rapidly, turned into a dinosaur and then back. Much like an alien did on the episode of Star Trek: Voyager I watched Friday night.
Posted by delmer at 2:41 PM | Comments (5)
February 28, 2008
A New Sex Dream
This you had to hear about.
Last night I had a sex dream and I was with a woman I know. There was no kissing, though there had been just the briefest period of pre-climbing-on cuddling. In the dream, following penetration I looked down at the fun centers — I always do, at least briefly, as I just think the whole thing is amazing (every time — and I've never almost fallen off when I looked).
At some point I started losing the erection. Not so much that it was going to stop things, but enough that I noticed. At some point just after that I had the thought, in my dream, that giving oral sex would be fun.
After that thought, but before going there, the dream ended, or I woke up, before reaching the exciting climactic end.
I don't remember reaching down and checking the tools after the dream. I normally do following a dream like this (it's just habit … if I wake up in the night I give everything a scratch) and things are normally in a state of readiness. But this time I don't remember checking.
And the female person? My ex wife.
There is sooo much wrong analysis that can be done here, so stop it now.
I fall into the line of people who think dreams are just dreams most of the time. I've had very detailed dreams come true before, and there's something mystical about that. And things that are going on in our daily lives influence our dreams. But I don't think each and every dream we have has super-special meanings. This dream, I think, falls into the category of recent goings-on influencing our dreams.
As for analysis:
- In the past I've commented that I don't have sex dreams with women I know because I have too much respect for them.
- I stumbled across the restraining order in my divorce decree packet on Friday and have been in a pissy mood since (Just typing about it now is irritating me — I was fine and happy during the earlier story about Assholes at Kroger. I'm going to have to set my filing cabinet on fire; who knows what I might accidentally read if I try to remove the decree and burn only it.)
Well, I guess that's all you need.
Oh, as for the erection thing, I've recently updated the tale of my hormones and that tale does involve some battlefield-conditions penis-hardness worry.
And, as for the not dreaming about women I know out of respect for them, I say that just to make fun of me and the ineptitude that I bring to the bedroom. Which is how I say it when I make the joke. If I actually meant it, then the whole thing would be sort of twisted, wouldn't it?
(And really, I'm a lot of fun in the bedroom. Had I written "Behind Closed Doors," it would have been a lively little ditty with a rock-n-roll reggae feel, not that slow-moving thing Charlie Rich sang.
Posted by delmer at 8:26 AM | Comments (3)
February 21, 2008
BOOM
Last night I dreamed I was with a petite blond girl. I didn't know her so, naturally, we were wrestling just a little bit. I woke up before either of us pinned the other, but this time there was no "Hey, this is a dream" thought; I think I was doing some reaching and the motion woke me up.
Anyway.
Back when I was a senior in high school (1978) two of my friends — good kids with good grades and, therefore, trusted — were in the chemistry lab when it was otherwise empty. This room had a back door that went into a small office area between it and another lab; there was a class in the other lab.
My friends went into the small office and used the faucet there to fill a beaker with water. They then took a chunk of potassium and dropped it into the beaker to watch the reaction. And it burst into flames, which was what they expected. The didn't, however, expect the flames to be as high as they were… it seems they used a bigger chunk of potassium than they needed.
Worried, one of them placed the beaker in the sink and leaned toward it to blow out the fire. When the fire didn't go out he raised up, looked back at the other, and said, "It won't go out," at which point the beaker exploded and bits of it (probably due to being in the high-walled sink) blew into the ceiling tile above.
Alarmed by the, "What was that" noise the teacher in the other classroom made, the boys made a dash for the door and got stuck in the frame 3 Stooges-like. An instant later they were out the door, out the classroom door and into the hall. Later that day one of the guys would send the other, as they sat in an advanced-math class, a note that said:
K + H2O = BOOM
At least that's how I remember the story. And that's how I'd tell it over the years.
At some point someone asked me if I didn't mean sodium, instead of potassium. And I didn't mean sodium… that would have been Na+H20=BOOM, and didn't go with the memory at all. The person suggested that sodium reacted with water as I'd described but that maybe potassium didn't.
And I started to wonder. Even though I was sure it was potassium.
I had some additional wonderment when I recently read a Billy Bryson book in which he mentioned how sodium reacted violently with water while sodium chloride (salt) did not.
And I wondered more last night when the Mythbusters decided to test some MacGyver myths. One of the myths involved MacGyver blowing a hole in a wall using sodium, water and a closed container. Rats, I thought, I've been wrong all these years.. When the Na+H2O didn't produce the BOOM needed, Adam said something like, "So we decided to move to potassium which will give an even more vigorous reaction." (He didn't say "vigorous." The word he used was more explosive sounding.")
Potassium did, in fact, provide better results though not the type the guys wanted. So they then moved on to C4 which provided a BOOM that was juuuust right.
The point is, this is another memory that has been cleared up without me having to put too much work into it.
Posted by delmer at 9:32 PM | Comments (2)
February 5, 2008
Super Tuesday
Hey, it's Super Tuesday. Regardless of where you live you won't be able to get away from Primary Results today. Twenty-four states* are holding their primaries.
Twenty-four people!
And, to all my international friends, I'd like to point out I can name the state capitals in all of them. And I can name the county seats for all of Ohio's counties. That's 112 capitals/seats I've got floating around in my head taking up room that could better be used for something else. I'm sorry I don't know what the capital of Holland is; I suspect it is Amsterdam, but I'm not certain. (I am the tiniest bit embarrassed that I don't know the capital of Australia (I'm thinking Sydney or Perth; and if it isn't Perth I'd like some extra credit for knowing a town with that name even exists). Or Canada, though I'm going with Montreal and, in any case, demand bonus points for knowing Canada is north of the US — well, east in one case. And that it's not a state; if it were, I'd know the capital.
But this post is not about my glaring inadequacies when it comes to things international (when I want to know more about a country not my own, I'll let it slip that there are vast oil reserves there and read up on it in Google News as we invade to liberate the locals).
No, this post is about last night's dream.
And it was a sex dream. And, as a sex dream it played by all my sex-dream rules: I didn't know the person and before it got too far along it turned into something else.
I won't go into all the details. They're entertaining, but a bit inappropriate even as things go here.
I did come away from the dream thinking I could use a bit of a shaving; just a touch-up really.
I believe I had this dream as I've been talking about dreams so much. And an odd thing about this one was that, while there were some rather nice things going on the whole thing had a pretty sterile feel to it. Like it was, I don't know, a demonstration for review or something. Not romantic, not sexy, not dirty, not even "just something to do because we're bored."
Well, no animals were injured during the dream, and that's something.
So, I'm dreaming more, again, and the fact that I realize I'm dreaming more seems to be affecting my dreams.
And still, no matter what I do I can't get Patricia Heaton to appear in a dream and she'd be perfect dream material. She's really cute but typically plays characters that are a little bit bitchy; in the morning, when you woke up, you wouldn't be so sad she was gone.
[Dammit: Amsterdam, Canberra, and Ottawa. In all fairness, I knew Ottawa on some level. Not that it matters, by god, as soon we invade it'll be Montreal.)
*Twenty-two state, American Samoa and Democrats abroad
Posted by delmer at 7:46 AM | Comments (1)
February 4, 2008
Roll Top Desk
Today's Dream Snippet:
There was a gunfight going on in a big lobby of some sort. It was one of those situations where there had been a frame-up and the guy the cops were shooting at was really not the bad guy. Maybe he was a bad guy but he was trying to do some good. I can't recall; there was a lot of gunfire and it was distracting.
A female police officer came in from the outside through some big glass double doors with her weapon drawn and blasting away. What was odd in the dream is that she'd have been blasting at her fellow officers based on the way she was shooting. I had an awareness that the knew the bad guy was not so bad and she didn't want the other cops to kill him, but I thought there might be a better way to handle the situation.
So did the cops. In seconds she had several guns in aimed very close to her head.
The scene changed and I could see in a back room. There were two adults and a small girl. The adults opened up a very small roll-top desk, like we had growing up and that my mother eventually painted (I think 'antiqued' is the correct term) and placed the girl in the top part of the desk. They told her she'd be safe there. I figured she'd be able to open the desk from the inside.
My alarm went off.
Posted by delmer at 9:07 AM | Comments (3)
January 30, 2008
Dreams are Back
I've heard that we all dream and that those who think they don't dream are simply not remembering them.
In the past I've had some great… wait, before I go on, let me share something Samson said the other night. He was telling me about a dream he had in which he was at school, but he didn't have all his clothes with him. I can't tell you the number of times I dreamed I was at school naked; in one I recall turning a corner by the lockers, looking down, and noticing I'd forgotten to got dressed that morning. It's nice to know I've passed this trait on to Sam.
Anyway, in the past I've had some great dreams. Vivid dreams. Odd dreams that were just a lot of fun. There was the dream with David Letterman. The push-ups dream. This odd dream. This odder dream. This dream about Jennifer Aniston and sewers. And a host of others. In one dream Courtney Thorne-Smith sat her breasts on the top of my head (we were both standing).
There was a time I could write about my desire to dream about someone (Courtney Thorne-Smith) and I would dream about that person in pretty short order. (I was hoping for a little more action with Ms. Thorne-Smith.)
A while back I noticed the dreams had stopped and it bothered me just a bit. It seemed I'd gone from dreaming all the time to not dreaming at all. As I considered it I got the feeling that the dreams had stopped after my cabergoline was reduced from 1.5 mg weekly to 1 mg weekly.
After that it was further reduced to .5 mg weekly and this made me think that if it was the meds reduction, the fun, vivid, dreams might be gone for good. I mean, it made sense — I'm pretty sure medicines can affect how a person dreams. I know that when I quit doing mushrooms several years ago the way I dreamed changed; I found I actually had to be sleeping to have any.
And then, a couple weeks ago, I dreamed I was cuddling up with a female person. As luck would have it, she was our high school homecoming queen (This would be "luck" as it applies to me).
In the dream we were about 20. And we were just cuddling; snuggling on a couch or something. There's no chance we were ever going to have sex and it has nothing to do with the fact that she was homecoming-court royalty and I was a normal guy and everything with the fact I never have sex dreams with people I know. If her pants had ever come off in the dream she would have instantly turned into someone else. And this, I suspect is quite the opposite of what used to happen 25 years ago in situations involving her and naked couples in which she was not a physical participant (You might want to read that again.).
Actually, I don't really have sex dreams at all. I have close-to-sex dreams. And I don't mean dreams in which I've gone out with a woman twice and then I wake up before the magic third date. I mean dreams in which I'm very close to having sex and in the dream I think, "wait a minute, this is a dream." Then, of course, I wake up. (It is unfair, isn't it. If it helps you feel better for me, when I was younger and I'd have scary dreams I'd be able to insert the this-is-a-dream awareness and end the dream.)
I think I dreamed about the homecoming queen as someone had been talking about class reunions that week. At our last class reunion I was talking with some people and our HCQ walked by me and gave me a hug and that was the only interaction we had. Afterward I'd regretted that we hadn't had a chance to talk; not because she was homecoming court royalty and I was a normal guy, but because she is a sweet person.
Anyway, since that dream I've had dreams nightly.
Just the other night I dreamed I was dating Alyssa Milano (she's been in My Name is Earl recently). In the dream she was (a still living) Johnny Carson's daughter and he was still hosting The Tonight Show. Alyssa thought I was funny and wanted me to be on the show to do stand-up. I didn't want to and was relieved when the guy at the door said the show had been running two minutes long since the something sketch.
Posted by delmer at 11:00 PM