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June 16, 2008
Wang Dang
Yesterday I was driving along when Ted Nugent popped up on my iPod. While this happens more often than you might think it is always a pleasant surprise.
The song he was singing was the redundantly titled "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang." Redundant because, you know, it's all sweet; he probably knew that but needed the extra syllable to tie the song together. Artists are like that.
At one point in the song Ted goes into what we'd call these days a "rap." In Red Red Wine it was called a "toast." When Ted was in the creative throes of what would become Wang Dang Sweet Poontang he probably said, "I'm just gonna talk this part."
So the rap/toast/talk bit came up and it goes sort of like this:
All right baby,
You see what I got here in my hands,
It's right here in my hands and it's for you baby,
I think I'm gonna yank on it one time ... Lookout!
And that is followed up by some serious guitar.
I have a thought on what Ted is talking about here and I've got to say that I admire the fact that when he talks about what he's holding he says "I've got it here in my hands." It takes 'em both it's that big. I suspect the size of his man-tool is one of the reasons he bangs around on such a big guitar. Because when you're wearing a loin cloth on stage there's a better than 50% chance the tool will slip loose and you'll want something to hide it behind to keep the man from hauling you off to jail on an indecency charge. (It's a little known fact that one of the reasons you see so many waist-up-only shots of Johnny Weissmuller in the Tarzan's he shot is because his outfit provided so little in the way of coconut support.)
I also like the fact that Ted comes off as a thoughtful lover in this bit of the song. Nothing says "I care for you" more than a big, screeching "Lookout!" right before you set stuff flying.
Of course I'm not sure the fact that yanking on it "one time" leads to a "Lookout!" says much about his stamina. Ah, well… Ted was young when he wrote the song and as men age we gain a little bit in the way sexual resiliency. And, "I'm going to yank on it all afternoon just before I fail to please you" is an awkward lyric. Even when it's followed by serious guitar.
Speaking of serious guitar, I think this song is proof that you can say/sing almost anything and if you follow it up an ass-kicking riff you can sell whatever it is you're saying/singing.
Think about it — you've got George Bush giving the State of the Union and he comes out and says "We've found no WMDs and the whole war was a sham." And you think, what a dipwad. And you think it again when you see it replayed on the early news and again on the late news.
Now, if he says, "We've found no WMDs and the whole war was a sham" and then pulls out Gibson hollow-body and goes into the opening chords of Wango Tango you'll find yourself thinking, "Go Dubya!." You'll tune into the early news just to hear the guitar part of the State of the Union and you'll give the wife a yell so she catches it during the late news.
And when she grouses, "No WMDs? What a dipwad!" You'll give her a shush and a keep-quiet look and say, "You're going to miss the best part."
Lookout!
Today's Photo is from the St. Brendadn 2006 Pig Race. Several of the elementary classes painted battery-powered pigs that were placed in the center of the basketball court. The first pig that scooted to the edge of the ring won and that class got a visit from the Pope. Or a pizza party.
Technorati Tags: Immaturity, Ted Nugent
Posted by delmer at June 16, 2008 11:47 AM
Comments
That is more then I ever needed to know about The Nuge then really ever.
That happens to me all the time...songs pop up on my i pod, but I don't remember downloading them.
Posted by: libragirl at June 17, 2008 6:01 AM
5:48 AM Pacific Time. Laughing out loud in my office. Guffaws, dude. Holy shit.
Posted by: Black Hockey Jesus at June 17, 2008 8:35 AM
I will never think of Ted Nugent the same way again. Not that I think of him too often anyway, but you know.
That pig picture is very funny, only because my kids school had a similar thing with chickens. Who thinks these things up? Did your kids win the pizza party?
Posted by: radioactive tori at June 17, 2008 9:59 AM
D- Ted was talking about his guitar, dude. Maybe you need to get laid if you're reading all this sexual stuff into Nuge songs. Pizza or Pope: decisions, decisions.
Posted by: Icy Mt. at June 17, 2008 11:21 AM
When I was but a wee Cheryl, I ran for my high school cross country team. As part of our training, we had to run country blocks around various local farms.
The Nuge owned one of these farms. He would lie in wait (delicious poontang hunting, I suppose) for us to make our usual run past, then hose us down and make lewd comments about wishing to do dirty things to us.
I should mention, I was 14.
Posted by: Cheryl at June 17, 2008 1:04 PM
LibraGirl: Oh ... one can never know *too much* about The Nuge.
BHJ: Ted often brings a smile to my face. I'm happy that posts featuring him have the same effect on others.
Tori: My so didn't win the pizza party. They won a mystery box ... I don't recall what was in it.
IcyMt: It could be his guitar. I just can't believe he'd 'yank' on it ... a man would never mistreat his guitar like that -- now, maybe another instrument.
Cheryl: That was uncalled for and, as I don't think Ted does drugs or alcohol, there's really no explanation (past the fact he was being an ass).
Posted by: delmer at June 17, 2008 1:12 PM
"Yank on it" has dual meaning in the language of the Nuge. He is talking about his guitar but he wants you to wonder if he's talking about his manhood (which of course he also is). Cat Scratch Fever is the same way (I make the pussy purr with the stroke of my hand). And yes, the Nuge likes 'em young. He was involved with a teenager (13 or 14) back in the 70's - with parental consent, apparently!
Posted by: dvb at July 23, 2008 1:55 PM