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May 2, 2008
Women, I need your help
Guys are welcome to lend a hand too.
I need a translation. For a friend of mine.
This friend, who had three adorable male children, was having a conversation with his ex wife. Without getting into all of the specifics he was led to say, "You accused me of cheating on you."
"I never accused you of cheating," she said.
He thinks she did, based on the following conversation they had while married:
"Where'd this condom come from?!" she said, picking a condom up off the counter and using a tone that a woman might use to ask about a condom she didn't recognize.
"Where do you think it came from?" he said in the playful tone a man might use because he's an idiot and he thinks is spouse is goofing on him because she gave him the condom and certainly she must remember she did.
"I don't know. It's not one of ours." And it is then he realizes that there is not a hint of "fun" in her voice and that her tone is very pointed.
And, we can really stop there I suppose.
That is the part I need translated. What could she be suggesting? And to be clear, her presentation was not conversational. It wasn't, "Hey… here's a condom. I wonder who it could belong to."
Certainly this conversation lacks the direct finger-pointing that "I think it was you (who was) looking at porn on my computer!" but it does not appear, to my male friend, that the conversation was headed toward, "I think you've been using condoms to make balloon animals and that is nothing but a waste of latex. Don't you know there are people in developing countries who can't get condoms at all! What would Al Gore think?"
Any thoughts?
[For the record, she had given him the condom in a birthday card. It wasn't the brand they normally used as she'd gotten it at an odd little shop in and odd little part of Columbus; the kind of shop that might have a giant bowl of condoms on the checkout counter. Also, it was she that had been looking at porn on her computer… accidentally, and she didn't have the clearest sense of how Internet Explorer's history and cache worked.]
Update: When he explained she'd given him the condom in a birthday card, with baseball tickets, and further explained the events surrounding it's procurement she seemed to start to remember that she'd been in the odd little shop… and they had a fishbowl of condoms… and perhaps she'd given it to him.
Posted by delmer at May 2, 2008 11:47 AM
Comments
"Where'd this condom come from?!" she said, picking a condom up off the counter and using a tone that a woman might use to ask about a condom she didn't recognize..."I don't know. It's not one of ours."
Considering that none of the three adorable male children that your friend has would've been old enough to own said condom, and considering that she also accused you of watching porn on the computer when it was she, I'd have to vote that this was a clear accusation of cheating on her.
As a woman, and one who was suspicious (in my case correctly) of being cheated on, if I would've seen a stray condom on the counter from parts unknown, I would've definitely accused...
Just sayin'...
But now to the real question...why are y'all rehashing the past anyway? It's probably time to let sleeping dogs lie and move on...
(I know...I watch too much Dr. Phil...)
Posted by: Ginger at May 2, 2008 11:04 AM
Wait ... I said it was about a friend of mine with three adorable mail children. I never said it was about me and my ex.
Posted by: delmer at May 2, 2008 11:14 AM
My question is, did the guy say that it was the condom that she had given him for his birthday from the crazy part of town?
Either way, to me, it's an accusation of the husband or, assuming they are old enough, questioning her male offspring's extra-curricular activities.
Posted by: Ann Marie at May 2, 2008 11:25 AM
He did, in fact, continue with the fact that it was a condom she'd given him. (I'll add that to an update.)
Posted by: delmer at May 2, 2008 11:32 AM
Even if none of the three adorable male children would have been old enough to be using the condom at the time, it is possible that the wife in this story was worried that perhaps one of their children had gotten a hold of a condom from somewhere.
I think a simple "it's the one from the birthday card...remember?" would have ended the conversation...and perhaps led to some activities that would have been more pleasant than a divorce?
Posted by: Emma at May 2, 2008 11:35 AM
It wasn't an accusation at first but it became one. Sounds to me like she assumed it had to be his and it had to have been used (and not with her). I would have taken it as he did.
Posted by: Eden at May 2, 2008 11:58 AM
I said it was about a friend of mine with three adorable mail children.
Clarification duly noted.
Posted by: Ginger at May 2, 2008 12:43 PM
I'm not sure about the substory going on in the comments about who-said-what (I did try but I haven't had my coffee yet and "condoms" caught eye so of course I had to ...scroll down...).
Anyway, Indirectly is usually the way women communicate. We do this so it's all up for interpretation and depending on the response, we can then change the meaning. It's also "safer" or feels emotionally safer.
I'm writing that women "usually" do this is because this is what I have experienced as well as what men have told me. "Where do you think it came from" is right up there with, "So why is there this mud on the floor", "Have you noticed that we can barely fit our car in the garage these days??? Why is that??"
I've also seen this type of "communication" from people who were raised in homes where self-expression was punished in some way. You end up with people who ask for things in this way, "Do you have any cookies in your bag?" knowing durn well you do but not wanting to ask for the cookie directly.
Posted by: Ms. Q at May 4, 2008 10:51 AM