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March 1, 2008
Back When I Had a Blog: Part II
As you may recall, when I had a blog I'd get up, go to work, walk or ride the bike at lunch, work some more, and come home and do something exercisey for an hour or so. I'd eat a several times during the day, maybe twang the wire, and I'd blog a bit. Depending upon when the twanging of the wire occurred I might have a nap first or, at least, run a Wet Nap over my hands before touching the keyboard.
Compare that to when I stopped blogging: I'd get up, go to work, walk or ride the bike at lunch, work some more, and come home and do something exercisey for an hour or so. I'd eat a several times during the day. I wouldn't turn the computer on at home.
I'd watch TV instead.
One night I noticed that I'd recorded the same episode of Coupling twice and that one recording was 30 minutes while the other was 40 minutes. Oddly enough, the episode was titled "Size Matters." I didn't notice I had two of the same episode until I'd watched the 30-minute version all the way through. So, I turned on the 40-minute version and set about making note of the differences; when I thought I'd found one I'd go to the 30-minute copy and run it ahead to verify my findings. I was right every time; bravo for me!
When I didn't blog I'd also go to bed earlier. This, of course, meant I'd wake up earlier and that I'd have the chance to roll into work earlier; one day I got there two hours before my day normally starts. I left at the normal time that night.
That was the night I'd also worked out and taken a three-mile walk, which put me at over 6 miles for the day. I'd also cleaned my toilets and done some laundry that night. And then I spent 90 minutes puzzling over the differences between episodes of Coupling and I watched two episodes of Voyager.
And I thought, "Shit. I'm sure watching a lot of television."
But really, there wasn't anything else to do. I didn't have the kids. The house was clean. I wasn't in the mood to twang the wire.
Wait a minute, let's address that last item as it is more important than you think. The average man, based on what I've read in Men's Health magazine, masturbates once a day. Following the restraining order day I lost my will to be even just average when, if the truth were to be told, many days I surpass average and am well on my way to super — there are some days when it would be well in character for me to have a giant M on my chest. Why are my masturbatory habits so notable? I'd like to say it has to do with the technique I use (two-handed grip with a Brazilian overlay) but, in all honesty, it's medicine related. Whenever I lose the urge to yank my crank I always have to wonder if it's because my cabergoline has recently been tweaked, if it's because I don't find myself sexy that day, or something else. (Even more interesting than my masturbatory habits is the fact that masturbatory wasn't flagged as a misspelled word; it, apparently existed prior to this blog entry.)
Masturbation brings me to something else worth considering, I sometimes write things that fall into the immature category, or at least I thought I did. What I've recently discovered, 30 and 40 minutes at a time, is that a lot of the things I write down are the same things a person might find in an episode of Coupling which, I assume, is written by professional writers of some sort. I'm in no way trying to suggest that the stuff I write is good enough for British Television (or even Springer) but someone was actually paid two work masturbation into the "Size Matters" episode… vagina and nipples too. And this somehow validates the stuff that drips leaps from my fingertips.
And I have wondered way off track. Before I wander back on, I'd like to point out that losing desire for myself does not seem to be medicine related as yesterday's Bionic Woman Marathon on TV Land made apparent.
Anyway, when I Blogged I did all the things I needed to do, exercised daily, reveled in the joy that is my body when the mood struck and about once a month someone I hadn't heard from in years would track me down. And I enjoyed the writing part.
And then I had a melt down of sorts and decided, among other things, that I was spending too much time in front of a computer. So I made the decision to have computer-free evenings so I could do other things. And the only other thing I did was watch TV. After all, it's not like I'm going to walk 10 or 12 miles a day, or pedal a bike 50 miles each night. Oh, I also worked longer days.
But it was a melt down that lasted three days; that never happens.
Two more days and Al Gore would have called.
(What I'm trying to say is that my intentions to keep to myself were good.)
The Good that Has Come from the Meltdown: I finally got off my butt and set up a blog for just the pituitary stuff. I was always afraid those items were getting lost in the noise that is WADLL. It is still not done, all the entries aren't there yet, and I'm not sure I like the current format (though the Hormone Table looks good in the current format.) The pituitary stuff will continue to appear here as well.
The Bad that Came from the Meltdown: Could it be any more obvious that I have no social life? I blog or watch TV? Well, one night I did go across the street to one of the local places and had a really good salad with grilled chicken in it. I'd have posted a picture, but I wasn't blogging then.
[I'll probably re-date and rework some of last week's entries to create the illusion that I'd made it everyday for a year. Oh, and if Men's Health calls, I'll probably fib a bit to them… for the good of above-average men everywhere.)
Posted by delmer at March 1, 2008 9:59 PM