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February 17, 2008
My Wart Cure
For about the past 15 years I've had a wart on my left index finger. It started at the back of the nail and worked its way up around the right side of it toward the front of the finger, almost to the end.
In that time I've had it frozen at least twice by dermatologists. It would go away and come right back; it was never fully killed. Each freezing hurt like hell.
I'd tried duct tape, caster oil, jalepeno juice (just to create a hostile environment for the wart virus), and praying for a healing. In all fairness to the duct tape I don't think the layout of the wart was conducive to it working well. In all fairness to the oils and juices, I don't think I tried any of them long enough to work if they were ever going to work. In all fairness to the praying, I'd like to think God has bigger things to take care of (if it came to my wart or feeding a hungry person one night, I'm hoping he went for feeding the hungry).
The thing that seemed to work best was using some sort of blister-wrap Band Aids. They were sort of flesh colored (assuming you're a Caucasian person) and very elastic jobs without that breathable part in the center. I'd wrap one of these around the finger and it would drive the wart into submission; this was normally accompanied by some pain in the finger that, I think, was the wart dying; it could have been that the Band Aid was too tight, but the pain normally came hours after I'd put it on (normally waking me up at night).
I'd change the Band Aid every couple of days. Normally the change of the first Band Aid would reveal that the wart seemed to have died. That is, the wart area was a darker color and might even be peeling off.
Over time I'd learn that the dead-looking wart area was no indication that the wart was gone for good. If I didn't put another Band Aid on I'd appear to be wart free for couple of days but it would always reappear. Slapping a Band Aid on at that point would take me through the hurting-finger stage again, so I got used to wearing a Band Aid most of the time.
A year or so ago I decided to treat it with Compound W. It held the wart at bay, sort of. It never got as big as it had previously, but the Band Aid did a better job of keeping it smallest. Compound W also left me with a white finger.
It seemed my choice was bandaged finger or white finger.
At some point I bought a Dr. Scholl's Freeze-Your-Own-Wart kit. I'd seen the commercials and was a bit suspicious as they end with the cute little blond girl, who'd had a wart treated, looking up and saying "Thanks mom." It was all I could do to not get all Kanye West on her ass and scream, "You lying little bitch" at the television. Getting a wart frozen hurts a lot.
The Dr. Scholl's kit comes with some warnings that I'm sure a person should follow. And follow them I did. When I treated the wart it didn't hurt. Of course it didn't turn that gray-like color like it does at the dermatologist's either. So, I decided to ignore the warnings and abuse the product, using it in a manner more similar to that I'd experienced in the office of a licensed professional.
And I still couldn't get it to hurt the wart. I wouldn't say the wart came back as that would imply it had gone away at some point and it didn't. It held fast. Had it been a sentient being, it would have looked up and said, "Thanks Dr. Scholl."
Back in June I tried liquid Compound W again. I'm not sure what else was going on at that time but the bit of the wart at the back of the nail hurt like nothing else shortly after I treated it. It actually felt like something was going on. That may have been when that part of the wart died; I'm not sure as I did a pretty good job of keeping it covered in the months after that treatment. That was the last time I saw that bit of wart though.
While at Disney I had a Band Aid on the wart. I removed the Band Aid when we returned to Columbus and let the finger air out a few days. I could eventually see the wart starting to rear its ugly head along the side of the nail.
I decided to buy a Compound W Freeze-Your-Own-Wart kit. I read the instructions and decided I'd modify them a bit. I totally disregarded the "wait five seconds" warning before applying the applicator to the wart. I'd also, eventually, hold the applicator to the wart a bit longer than recommended.
The Compound W kit was able to turn the wart a gray color and make my finger hurt like hell. I had a feeling it was working.
Three days later, when I had a sense the wart was coming back, I hit it again.
Three days after that I gave it another blast.
Three days after that it looked like the wart might be returning … but it also looked different. On the chance the finger was just throwing some healing at me I decided to take a wait-and-see stance.
And the wart is gone and has been for a couple of weeks. Should I sprain the right index finger, I'll still be able to do some nostril cleaning; for the first time in about 15 years.
Posted by delmer at February 17, 2008 10:55 PM
Comments
You may think I am joking... but what ultimately got rid of the wart that had been on my hand for years was voodoo.
Yes. voodoo.
I had an interesting experience in a New Orleans voodoo shop, and never had warts again.
Posted by: Dave2 at February 18, 2008 1:37 AM
I had a wart on my left palm when I was nine. Instead of trying to freeze it off or do any of those things, my fucking pediatrician thought it was a good idea to burn it out.
Since he had assured me and mom that it would not hurt, we agreed.
A shot of Novocaine into the wart and I was convinced, he wasn't going to be true to his word. He didn't wait for the shot to work, or even test it for that matter. He started burning it. Everybody in the office heard me. Nobody came to stop him. They all assumed I was being a brat about it, including the doctor.
My mom was with me. It took five minutes to burn it out and by the time it was done, the shot had started to work and then worked for 4 hours. My mom didn't sue, but she did get some compensation.
Warts are a pain.
Posted by: Sue at February 18, 2008 7:38 AM
Dave2: An old roommate of mine had a lot of warts on his hand when he was younger. He was an Assemblies of God person (sort of Pentecostal) and, while I don't remember all the details, some praying or laying on of hands was done one day ... and the next day the warts were gone.
Voodoo makes as much sense (and I don't doubt the workability of either).
Sue: I've had two burned off ... well after the Novacaine had taken effect, though. (Sorry about your pain.)
Posted by: delmer at February 18, 2008 3:22 PM
Don't be sorry. That doctor was a jackass.
Posted by: Sue at February 18, 2008 3:50 PM
Good news.. and the finger is still there. Are you enjoying a good icy/snowy morning, we are. Have a wonderful day. Hugs to all.
Posted by: Granny/Mom at February 19, 2008 5:51 AM