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February 19, 2008
Increased Global Smartness
There are 20 million people in Australia and about 33 million people in Canada; these are statistics I pulled from Google.
There are about a dozen people in Holland according to a friend of mine who has been there, and while Wikipedia suggests there may be as many as 16 million Dutch I'm not sure the author of that article has ever been to Holland. I know my friend has.
If you're curious, Holland, Texas has just over 1,100 people living in it.
What's the point?
Well, the other day I took a poll in which I asked people in our cafeteria what they thought the capitals of Australia, Canada and Holland were. The answers I most often received were: Sidney, Montreal and Holland? You mean Denmark?
One hundred percent of the people I polled got each capital wrong. And these are some smart people. People that can design and build things. Incredibly good-looking people.
None of them were Geography majors, however.
What's the point? Let's see, in Australia, Canada and Holland you've got about 53,000,012 people. In the United States there are 300,000,000 people (about); almost six times as many as those other places combined. Add it all up and you've got 353,000,012 people, the vast … VAST … majority of whom are going to think the capitals of Australia, Canada and Holland are Sidney, Montreal and, well does it matter — there's only about a dozen Danes, great or not.
And I will bet you this capital confusion extends to other countries as well. I suppose a fair amount of Aussies think the capital of Canada is Montreal and that a fair amount of Canadians think the capital of Australia is Sidney. While the Dutch probably don't give a shit about either they think legalizing just about everything is a good idea (and I'm right fine by that).
Where am I going with this?
A lot has been made about just how stupid people are. Americans mostly. Face it, we, as a world, aren't likely to get any smarter than we are now. And while this is a bit sad there is something we can do to create the illusion of increased global smartness. Rather than ask people to actually sort out the capitals of all the countries, we should ask that the countries change their capitals to what people already think they are.
I realize this might require that some new letterhead be purchased but, in the grand scheme of things, it's a small favor to ask.
Montreal would become the capital of Canada. Sidney the capital of Australia. Holland and Denmark would undergo sort of a spiritual merging becoming a rather pleasant and free-thinking place to visit somewhere not too far from England; the details of where it is actually located would be left for travel agents to work out should someone want to visit.
Since were on the subject, we really need to do something about the capital of Iceland. While I'm guessing it is pronounce Ray-kuh-javic, that isn't exactly what Reykjavik screams to the American eyeball. The letter combination "YKJ" appears nowhere in the Bible which I suspect is more by (grand) design than happenstance. "Reykjavik" either needs to be softened up or renamed altogether. "Jerusalem" might be a good choice especially when you think of all the accidental tourist dollars Iceland would see. And think of the conversation you'd hear on the streets: "Jesus wore open toed sandals in this?"
Before this turns ugly and someone feels compelled to say that Americans should just hit the books a little harder, I'd like to point out that here in the US we've got 50 states all of which have capitals and all of which we send disaster relief to when something bad happens and there and a Democrat is sitting in the White House. States are further divided into counties, and in rare instances parishes, each with a seat of government. Furthermore, some states are actually commonwealths.
As Americans we have plenty to forget about our own country without having to try to remember that Iceland isn't the frozen glob its name suggests.
By the way, Ohio has 88 counties. Auglaize, Warren, Hamilton, Franklin, Madison, Belmont, Licking, Harding, Reykjavic, Scioto, Butler — really, more than you'd care to read and more than I care to type.
Posted by delmer at February 19, 2008 1:17 PM
Comments
Try Rek-ya-vik ;o)
Licking???? Blimey!
Posted by: Lady P at February 20, 2008 2:07 PM
Huh? I thought dubya was a repub!? Or did it just fly over my head. Heck, I don't know all the capitals. Unless I have to, there's no need to store that knowledge in my brain. I know what cleaning chemicals to use for what job (and how not to mix them). I know how to nurture a child, be a friend, and learn something knew.
The things I do retain are applicable in my life, so I guess those are the only things worth knowing.
Which means, Dammmit, I know algebra. You use it every time you use a budget.
Posted by: Sue at February 20, 2008 2:25 PM
Lady P: You say Rek-ya-vik I say Ray-kuh-javic, yada yada yada, Rek-ya-vik, Ray-ku-javic, toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe, let's call the whole thing off.
What's sad (well, sadder), is just this morning I asked Haydn if he was familier with Jan Stenerud who, very craftily, made use of the 'Y' sound for a 'J.' Yan, by the way was Dutch/Danish.
Still, Yerusalem would be a better name for the Icelandic capital.
(What's saddest is that I once knew how to pronounce Reykjavik.)
Sue: Dubya is a Repulican ... and his people have trouble with disaster recovery.
Posted by: delmer at February 20, 2008 2:51 PM