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November 30, 2007
Clarifications and Amplifications: Two
I thought I'd take another moment to clear up a couple of things that I sort of misrepresented this month.
A week ago today I posted the following: Kazaa at Kazaa the Blank One, despite living two streets over from me, does a very good job of convincing her readers she lives in Australia. I'd like to point out that Kazaa, as far as I know, does live in Australia and each time I read her blog I do so with an Australian accent in my mind's ear. I posted the above as I needed a third person (and he, she, it and they are reserved) to modestly pick on and she came to mind. I was also planning, believe it or not, for this post a week ago and I knew I was going to need a couple of things to clarify and amplify. (If you consider that I did Clarifications and Amplifications: One you'll appreciate this post even more as it will be obvious to you that I'd planned that one ahead of time as well. And yet, I somehow make it look like I throw crap together at the last minute.)
This month I've also posted that Mike O is 22-years old. He is actually 35. When I met Mike he was in his 20's and I was in my 40's. Twenties seemed very young and as Mike aged I sort of lost track of how old he was and kept making him 20-something whenever the topic came up. Eventually, it just became a joke. (Okay… not a great one. But I want you to ask yourself, what does it cost you to come here? Aside from your dignity?)
I've recently also stated that It is rare for me to compliment the wives of my male friends and then I mentioned the exceptions to this rule. Mike O left a comment that pointed out that he falls outside of this rule even when you consider the exceptions. And really, the rule should have said, It is rare for me to compliment my friends on the attractiveness of their wives; it is not beyond me to tell someone she looks nice regardless of marital status.
But I can see we're starting to drift a bit.
Why does Mike fall outside of this rule? Primarily, I think, because he, until three paragraphs ago, was so much younger than I am that it didn't feel terribly wrong to me, it was like razzing a younger brother. But razzing him about what? And this is where it gets tricky. Mike is an engineer and his wife is a hottie. That is all I should have to say. Just like the Ray Romano/Patricia Heaton pairing in Everybody Loves Raymond, the Jim Belushi/Courtney Thorne-Smith pairing in Everybody Loves Jim, and the That English Guy/Jamie Gertz pairing in Everybody Loves the English Guy from The Full Monty, it seems to go against what is natural in the world.
And while I can't explain it very well I'm hoping you, as a WADLL reader and therefore of greater-than-average intelligence, will get the gist of what I' saying.
But it gets better. Mike O's wife is also a swimmer… and a gymnast. To not say something — about an engineer being married to a hottie gymnast/swimmer — would be insulting to all men. I'm sure that, right now, you are imagining Mike O going home and being met by Mrs. Mike O at the door who then goes into a handstand and rips Mike's pocket protector out of his shirt using her toes.
I used to imagine that … or at least I did until I found out Mike and I are the same age.
Wait. I'm 47.
Picture of the day:
A strapping young man stepped out of this car, spit on the pavement and made his way into the convenience store to buy something. Despite the fact that there were four empty spots next to the store he decided to park in the spot reserved for people with disabilities. I'm guessing he's a guy who lives by his own rules without regard to the arbitrary laws society tries to impose upon him. He's probably a modern-day rebel who rejoices in his rebelliousness each and every second of each and every day and who shows his rebellionocity by crossing against the light, going in the out door and parking in reserved spots as a way of showing whoever sees him that he is just a half step away from causing real trouble. Well, not that many people got to see him being a rebel at the mini-mart, so here's a photo.
Posted by delmer at November 30, 2007 6:30 AM
Comments
I like the way you tease, provoke and plan ahead for your blog entries. My faith in Kazaa is restored just after I was warming to the idea of creating a fictional blogging character.
Posted by: Michael at November 30, 2007 9:43 AM
Ah.. this explains how confused I was at the Kazaa statement. I feel like such a blond now... but don't worry, this is an everyday feeling and I am used to it.
:-)
Posted by: Sue at November 30, 2007 11:47 AM
You forgot to mention she's also a true redhead.
Posted by: Mikeo at November 30, 2007 12:11 PM
Michael: Americans are well known for our exceptional planning skills ... I point toward the Middle East as evidence. :-)
Sue: There's nothing wrong with having a blond moment here and there. I certainly get them even as my hair grays.
MikeO: That would suggest a level of familiarity I'd be more uncomfortable with than normal.
Posted by: delmer at November 30, 2007 1:08 PM
I think people who spit on the pavements should be shot! My office window overlooks an area where young lads hang out and it seems spitting is a fun pass time for them - it makes me want to hurl every time I see it. There are more germs in a human mouth than in a dog's - did you know that? Sorry...rant over.
Posted by: Pen at November 30, 2007 2:59 PM
Occasionally, I translate for Delmer when he's so polite that his point is not taken: What D means by rebel is "lazy, inconsiderate bastard" who is also partially blocking the main lane through our corner gas station. I loathe him and I have a secret button in my car that extends a key and scratches the side of his car when I drive by on the way to the pump.
Posted by: Icy Mt. at November 30, 2007 4:48 PM
Don't prejudge- he may be disabled. You mention he spat as he exited his vehicle. And the sign says Copenhagen 2/8.69. Could he be spit-tobacco addicted, and his judgement clouded be the posted inducement?
Posted by: Bill at December 1, 2007 4:34 AM
I too hate it when someone 'hacks up one' on the sidewalk, just the sound alone is like fingers on a chalkboard! yuck!
btw - I seem to be swing by here regularly lately (Still don't really know who 'Kazaa' is yet) ;) but I've added you to my site. It makes it easier than going through Blog Catalog.
~ZZ
Posted by: Greeneyezz at December 1, 2007 2:07 PM
I'm not much into spitting but gack, I've gotten as used to it as I'm going to get. Seems like snorking (my word for snorting up as much uh, mucus as possible) and then hawking the snork is de rigeur for for middle-aged to elderly Chinese guys. I saw a lot of this as a child when me and my dad went out to the Asian markets on the weekend.
Parking in the disabled parking area when not disabled? BAD Karma, seriously BAD karma! What would be cool is if some hot babes were hanging out watching this act, started wagging their index fingers at him and giving him looks of disdain.
Since you channeled DeNiro in my blog, how about: "Hey yoo! Yeah..yoo! Yoo disabled? I doan't THEENK so. I THEENK I'm gonna have to give yoo a reason to use dat spot, waddya THEENK?"
I know, I do a lousy DeNiro.
Regarding "regular Joe" type of guys with Hottie Wives...the image of the pocket-protector removal with toes...thanks for the visual.
While Regular Joe with Hottie is one for the 2nd look, the Plain Jane with Hunk-a-Rama seems to garner even more looks.
But yeah, guys can't really tell their guy friends that the guy friend has a hot wife or girlfriend.
Posted by: Ms. Q at December 1, 2007 8:42 PM
Lady P: Do you suppose the lack of germs in a dog's mouth has anything to do with their private parts being a rich source of antibiotics?
IcyMt: Nice job with the translation.
Bill: I had not considered a Copenhagen-addiction disability. Though if he has one he's failed to show the appropriate badge in his windshield or on his license plate.
Greeneyezz: The outdoors is a big place -- you'd think people would be able to take a step or two away from others before hacking up loogies (and thanks for the add).
Ms. Q: I agree with your assessment that parking in the reserved spot will result in bad Karma, but I had to disagree with your assessment of your DeNiro ... it was perfect.
Posted by: delmer at December 1, 2007 11:01 PM