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October 20, 2007
I *heart* all of you
I believe it is obvious … that it goes without saying … that it's as plain as the noses on your faces … I love each and every one you. Other bloggers may say it; but I mean it.
It's a very healthy love. A non-threatening love. A non-mess-making love. The kind of love you wish you could bottle and give away free late at night in an infomercial (plus $10.99 in shipping and handling; must be 18 or older to call).
Sure, sure, sure. I love some of you more than others, but only because it's the right thing to do.
For example, My Family is at the top of the list.Way way at the top. So far at the top of the list that I had to get up on my tippy toes to write them in.
Next on the list are Single Women My Age That I've Met. I'm no fool. If I've met you once, I'm likely to meet you again and when you read this I want you to know just how much I appreciate you being you. (For the record, this is a much wider age range than you might expect. I explain more below.)
Then we have Single Women My Own Age That I've Not Met. This group includes women 37 to 57 years old; that is, 10 years on either side of where I am. I'm guessing that women on the younger side of this range might be a bit offended. Let me assure you that there's nothing to worry about. I, as a guy in his 40's, am able to identify attractive women in all the age groups. I, as an emotionally mature guy in his 40's am uncomfortable ogling attractive women under a certain age (I'm the anti-Rod-Stewart). Thirty-five is the actual age, but that screwed with the bracket. And really, I guess there's no upper age limit (how old is Diane Keaton? 61?). The point is this is my comfortable to ogle age group. (Taking into consideration there is really no upper-end to the age group and the lower-end is actually 35.)
Then comes the Single Women Younger Than I Am. And for all of my faults and for all of the oddball things I put in this blog, I feel just a little creepy typing that.
Next comes Dudes. It doesn't matter how long I've known you, this is where you rank on the list. I think we're both happy about this. And by the way, the love I feel for you is the group of guys playing basketball love. I don't feel creepy about typing this at all.
And rounding out the list of How I Love My Readers are Married Women. You are one big group. You are very nice. Many of you smell nice in elevators. You are all hot beyond words. However, you are married and other men should be leaving you alone.
So there you have it.
I love each and every one of you in a healthy, non-threatening way.
And you know I'd do almost anything for you.
One of the things I won't do, however, is pedal my bike 80-miles, one-way, away from home when it's windy as hell out. The wind will either be at my back all the way up meaning I may have to pedal into the wind on the way home Sunday; or it will be in my face or blowing across me all the way up and sucking the spiritual life out of me.
So, no heading out, spending the night, and then rolling home tomorrow.
Posted by delmer at October 20, 2007 8:08 PM
Comments
If you heart me (#3 on the list, as if being a middle child hasn't screwed me up already) why, when I post a comment, won't it remember me although I've check yes when prompted?
Posted by: Nancy at October 21, 2007 10:31 PM
Because I *heart* you so, and because there was no long-distance pedaling involving excessive wind, I've spent the last hour trying to sort this out.
When I log in to edit the blog it never remembers me, if that makes you feel any better.
I'm doing a bit more research.
Posted by: delmer at October 21, 2007 11:39 PM
For that last comment I told the blog to forget me. As I type this my Gravatar isn't showing, but all my data came up auto-filled.
Posted by: delmer at October 21, 2007 11:42 PM
Seeing as I come in at Number 2 & Number 4 does that mean I get *double* the love?? And all this from a guy I recently referred to as....mmm...never mind...you're forgiven ;o) xxx
Posted by: Pen at October 22, 2007 9:46 AM
I fall under category #4...why do you feel creepy typing that?
Posted by: Melissa at October 22, 2007 11:40 AM
Lady P: You also get exotic-accent points.
Melissa: Women that age (roughly 35 and under) fall outside my comfortable-to-ogle age group. It's part of that whole, old enough to be the father of a 25-year-old thing ... with some buffer years thrown in for good measure.
Posted by: delmer at October 22, 2007 12:33 PM
"You also get exotic-accent points."...errrm I hope I get points for a LOT more than just that ;o)
Posted by: Pen at October 22, 2007 3:06 PM
Did you ever see those little round stickers that showed a flat-head screw on them? You can use them to doctor the bumper stickers on mini-vans that say "I *heart* my Dachshund" or whatever. If anyone ever pulls this trick on your blog, please remove Item 5 for me.
Posted by: Icy Mt. at October 22, 2007 4:35 PM
How about #6 woman who held your _ _ _ _ _ in their _ _ _ _ before they were #6 and at the time were #2 and #4. (it's almost sodoko, isn't it?)
Posted by: Darrell at October 22, 2007 7:54 PM
Delmer, 10 years is a little young to be a father :) For me the comfort zone is around 20 years and for some reason guys 20 or something years younger than me seem to be really flattered.
I know what you mean, though. My son-in-law is 26 and it doesn't feel right to ogle for men that age. It feels like hunting on my daughters hunting ground and I prefer not to.
Posted by: Susie at October 23, 2007 12:38 AM
Now when I read what I said in my previous comment, it looks confusing. What I ment was that it's one thing to ogle and another thing to actually pursue someone and I wouldn't pursue someone 20 years younger than me.
Posted by: Susie at October 23, 2007 12:45 AM
Now Im confused. Do you love us or are you just letting us down gently because you chickened out of your 80 mile ride?
And, just curious, am I a #3 or a #6?
And, Pen... I think that if a man travels over very large bodies of water to see you and you are still talking, that raises your score up much higher :P
Posted by: Diana at October 24, 2007 7:22 PM
Diana: I think you are currently a 3 though you were a 6 up until just recently.
Chickened out?
Oh man, that's harsh. Especially since I'd just opened my heart to you all.
:-)
Posted by: delmer at October 24, 2007 10:41 PM