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April 20, 2007
The Wallet
My cousin now lives in the house I grew up in. When I visit I toss my keys on his fridge out of habit, just like I did all the years I lived there. Growing up, I always knew where my keys would be; when I visit my cousin I always know where they'll be.
Any other time, my keys are mostly lost.
Each morning I spend a couple of minutes looking for them and no matter how many mornings I do this I never learn. I really need to put them in the same place each evening.
You may recall from yesterday that I lost my phone.
Honest to God, if my kids lost things as much as I do I'd have to beat them to within an inch of their life. Assuming I could find a club.
This morning I couldn't find my wallet. I remembered having it yesterday at dinner but after that I had no memory of having it.
I looked all over the kitchen, upstairs (where it had no business being at all), in the living room, in the van … basically all the places I'd failed to find the phone yesterday; my reasoning was that as the wallet would know I'd searched those places yesterday it was likely to think I wouldn't go there today and would, thus, pick one of those spots to hide.
The pants the wallet had been in had been washed so I cleverly checked the washing machine. It was not there.
It wasn't in the van the second time I looked nor by the box of oats which remain on the kitchen counter.
Finally, the boys and I had to leave for school. On Fridays we always go to McDonald's and Haydn was kind enough to front me the money for today's excursion.
After I dropped the boys off I returned home to pick up The Mighty Schwinn (it's beautiful out today so I'm pedaling to work).
I checked the kitchen again and then gave the washing machine again.
I don't know where the wallet had been before but while I'd been running the kids to school it had moved itself to the washing machine. It must have figured that since I'd checked there I wouldn't look again. My dad used to use this Hide-&-Seek technique when my brother and I were little.
To further throw me off the wallet had thoroughly soaked itself.
It now sits drying on the stool that sits next to me. (Which I mention simply to have a written record of where it was I last saw it.)
Posted by delmer at April 20, 2007 11:14 AM
Comments
You need a little basket on or near your fridge. I used to leave my s**t everywhere until I got one. Now I come in, leave wallet, keys and shades in the basket and get a beer. I always know where they are and get a beer out of the deal.
Related topic: My 14 year-old son has lost 2 ~$120 calculators, blown up 1 $100 MP3 player, lost the $80 replacement, and lost his brother's $50 MP3 player in the last 9 months. I didn't beat him with a club but he owes me $180 for replacing his brother's MP3 and a calculator (he already bought the first replacement calc). I replaced his MP3 with a $10 flash drive that is now tied to his backpack with 3ft of shoelace. The shoelace attaches to the drive with a 2" diameter wrap of duct tape. The whole assemblage looks retarded as hell and serves him right.
Posted by: icymt. at April 20, 2007 1:55 PM
When I got married my wife came up with the basket deal. I put my stuff in it, she would not, and then the basket got full of useless crap that needed thrown away every other week. So I convinced her to junk it. 11 years later I put all my junk in the same spot on a shelf, she still leaves it everywhere and wonders where her keys are. I thought that is why women have a purse.....
Posted by: Mikeo at April 21, 2007 10:00 PM
