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April 16, 2007
The Marriage is Off
I walked into the cafeteria the other day to find some of the engineers having lunch.
"Delmer doesn't know," said the youngest as I passed.
"Know what?" I asked, stopping.
"I'm not getting married." he said.
Though I had advised the youngest against getting married, time and again, I wasn't sure this was the right moment to do any razzing. And I know stuff like this really sucks. "Man," I said with a sigh, "I'm sorry to hear that. When did this happen."
"It's been on and off for the last couple of months."
"How are you doing?"
"Pretty good," he said, "Have you got any advice?"
"He's okay," said one of the other engineers, jumping in. "He's got a date this weekend."
"Advice?" And, sensing the mood was lighter than I'd originally thought said, "When you're at the store buying lubricants for that big weekend of 'me-time' you'll want to mix it up a bit. If the clerk sees that you're buying food like a single guy but you walk out of the store with the five-gallon tub of hand lotion she's going to get suspicious. I suggest you get several different items. Some hand lotion, maybe some olive oil and some hair conditioner. Oh … hair conditioner might be the best thing for you. Nothing gets the wrinkles out like hair conditioner. And get a volumizing conditioner too … it'll be good for your self-esteem.
Posted by delmer at April 16, 2007 7:40 PM