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March 3, 2007
You Give Dating Advice
I have been trying to pass real-world dating tips on to my boys. Not the dating rules I posted several months ago as they can pretty much be reduced to the single rule: don't.
And while don't is perhaps the best dating rule -- following it would save a person time, money, and emotional scarring not to mention the simplicity of the rule makes it easy to remember -- it seems to be an unrealistic rule to expect young boys on the verge of hormonal overload to follow.
(Have I mentioned how good don't would look on a kitchen magnet? White text on a black background. Sort of rough looking type. It could stick right on the freezer door as a constant reminder that seeking comfort in ice cream is not always the stupid idea people make it out to be, particularly as a nice cold bowl of a frozen dessert sitting on the Ben & Jerrys is very effective when it comes to trying to overcome the dating urge.)
So.
I've been trying to pass real-world dating advice on to the boys. Things like bathe on a regular basis. Use deodorant as your body requires. Brush your teeth. Clean your nails. Don't be a goofball.
Regarding the hygiene tips I explained to the boys that their buddies will put up with a stinky friend on a regular basis and not think much of it. I used to play a lot of basketball and it wasn't uncommon to come away from a game soaked with sweat that eventually dried and formed a ripeness. The other guys were fine with this -- they all had their own funk going on -- it was no big deal.
I've explained to the boys that their buds will probably have quite a number of non-funk-related experiences with you so they will know you don't stink all the time.
Girls, on the other hand, and especially those in middle school (unless it has changed since I was there) are going to give boys far fewer chances when it comes to things involving smells. You might get them to cut you some slack if you smell bad once or if you have bad breath one day but you string a couple of encounters like that together and you become the stinky kid with trench mouth.
One of my children seems to take pride in his goofiness and how he's the weird kid at school. And while I certainly admire his self confidence -- his weirdness does seem to be well thought out (that is, he's trying to be a goofball -- he isn't a future engineer trying so hard and so unsuccessfully to fit in) -- I don't think this is the way to win the hearts of young ladies. And he has started to notice them.
But really, what do I know about this. It's Saturday night and I'm sitting at home writing a blog. Of course, I'm goofy as hell. And I've got the kids this week. Of course, next week I'll be sitting home alone working on a big refrigerator-magnet project I've got brewing. Maybe I'll spank the Chunky Monkey once or twice.
But enough about me.
Certainly there are some folks out there that know more about this than I do. And for you I have some questions.
1. Would middle school girls prefer to hang out with a weird boy or a non-weird boy.
2. Does it matter if the weirdness is on purpose or if it comes accidentally?
3. What do the single mothers of middle school girls look for in a blog writer?
4. Same as #3 but substitute "single aunts" for "single mothers."
5. What would you pay for a really sweet refrigerator magnet?
Really, though. Any thoughts on numbers 1 or 2?
(Numbers 1 and 2 above, people. In another context I know they are both very relaxing.)
Posted by delmer at March 3, 2007 9:46 PM
Comments
1) I can't recall that they discriminate, as long as he is older than they are.
2) It's definitely better if it's on purpose, because he can change back to normal at any time (I'm speaking from personal experience).
Posted by: Michael at March 4, 2007 7:20 AM
Addressing the trench mouth issue:Teeth are really important--having them and keeping them clean. Many mouth oders can come from bacteria on the back of the tounge. This can be caused by sinus drainage into the throat allowing this bacteria buildup on the back of the tongue. Food in the crevices of the tonsils can be another cause for foul smelling breath. So brushing, including the tongue, followed by gargeling a mouth wash will be a big help. The reason for this--when you let loose with that big smile (confidence) and strike up a friendly conversation you have shown an interest. Uncle Don is very good example.
Goofballs are ok-some of the time. (another Uncle Don example)
I'm back--Love
Posted by: Granny/Mom at March 4, 2007 8:49 AM
3. Someone who looks good in tights
5. Nothing - I would expect to be sent a free sample....
Posted by: Pen at March 4, 2007 3:14 PM