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March 16, 2007
Third Base
Many, many years ago I remember reading, in Reader's Digest, a blurb about someone who had joined a gym. Over the course of the membership they'd never made use of they facility, but when it came time to renew they'd hurried down to the gym to pay their duesI.
As they were paying they asked the clerk of they had names for people like him -- someone that joins the gym but never uses it.
The employee said, "Yea, profit."
I'm certain I read that back before 1999 as I'm pretty sure I'd read the story prior to joining the gym I belong to. I'd always be reminded of it in January when membership swelled and the gym was crowded for two or three weeks.
I was reminded of it again tonight as I read the April 2007 Reader's Digest and ran across the same blurb. This time it was credited to having appeared on a website.
It would be my guess that it appeared in Reader's Digest before the website got their hands on it.
Anyway ...
Even longer ago I read, in Reader's Digest, a blurb about how someone whose brother-in-law had gone to a convenience store that had a sign in the window that said "Open 24 Hours." As the guy approached the store he found the clerk locking the front door. The guy said, "Wait, your sign says 'Open 24 Hours'."
The clerk gave him a look, snorted, and said, "Not in a row."
Which, of course, comes from a Steven Wright bit.
I'm torn. Do I send Reader's Digest my resume and offer to proof Life in These United States, Humor in Uniform and All in a Day's Work? Or do I send them the story about the nutty conversation I heard between two old men talking about a baseball team that had a first baseman name Who?
Posted by delmer at March 16, 2007 10:22 PM
Comments
IF you send anything to Reader's Digest, please ensure that you spell "humour" with the correct number of letters.....ooooh listen to me....Ms Bossy!
Posted by: Pen at March 17, 2007 7:18 PM
Kroger is open 24hrs, but they close at midnight on Saturday, reopen at 4am I think. Readers Digest? how old are you, do you get a discount with your AARP, or Golden Buckeye card??
Posted by: Mikeo at March 17, 2007 9:09 PM
Pen: Reader's Digest is noted for publishin abriged works. They do all they can to make things shorter, so I'm afraid that unneeded letters will have to go.
MikeO: How can you not Humor in Uniform? Or Ask Laskas? Just recently someone asked if it was OK if he dated his friend's ex-wife. Laskas pointed out why that was the most stupid idea ever.
Oh ... it was a gift.
Posted by: delmer at March 18, 2007 10:38 AM