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January 28, 2007
Fiber Supplementation
Folks, I won't lie to you. There are things I write here that I have serious reservations about as soon as I make the posting. Other things trouble me only after a pattern of too-much-about-the-same-thing forms.
This next thing will trouble me right away. Heck, it's starting to trouble me now and I haven't even thought the whole thing through.
Do you recall when I posted about Klee Irwin and Dual Action Cleanse? Klee was concerned that a child is able to produce a poop that is incredibly huge when compared to the child's body while the bowel movements of adults produce much smaller prizes when compared to their overall mass. He claims to have a product that will help men and women produce the fuller-figured bowel movements.
I thought this was probably BS when I saw his commercial. And I'm certain that there is no way an adult is going to produce a turd that is sized, proportionately speaking, anywhere near what one would consider a massive poop for an infant or toddler. (I'm pretty sure that if you watch to his infomercial and then Google some of the things he presents you'll likely conclude that the shit coming out of his ass is nothing like the shit flowing through his mouth.)
Getting back to bigger, better, and firmer bowel movements.
I recently started taking a generic store-brand fiber supplement. I had those Jimi Hendrix magazines I needed to get through and I wasn't getting the quality on-the-can time I needed to make it happen. (I was getting on-the-can time ... it just lacked the kind of quality Jimi would like me to experience.)
So, I bought the fiber supplement. Two big cans for $10.00. Seventy-two servings per can. The can says "compare to Metamucil."
It works as advertised. Well, as Metamucil is advertised -- the store brand isn't advertised at all.
My trips to the bathroom were more fruitful.* There was almost no straining and I was able to better concentrate on whatever it was I was reading.
What I didn't expect was the increase in size I noticed. For the record, I don't believe for a minute that without the fiber supplement my intestines would be hanging on to any more fecal matter -- I think the same amount would eventually come out with or without the fiber supplement if a person cared to track it.
I have a couple of theories about why I'm producing more manly output during trips to the library but I'm going to sit on them. Keep them to myself. Spare you.
Where I'm going with this whole thing is that if Dual Action Cleanse has any Metamucil-like properties at all I'd guess it would produce larger poops -- which would make someone who bought it feel pretty good about their investment.
Before making that investment, a person might want to try the store brand first.
*I bought the orange-flavored fiber supplement. Depending on how much of this stuff I mix up, sometimes it smells like I'm crapping in an orange grove. I half expected Anita Bryant to tap on the door the other day and ask if I needed more paper.
Posted by delmer at January 28, 2007 10:34 PM
Comments
Delmer, that part about having serious reservations about posting certain things on your Blog......hold that thought next time!
Way more info that I needed, or even wanted, but thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Pen at January 29, 2007 11:24 AM
I'm speechless.
Those commercials are so farfetched. I remember seeing that picture of an anaconda-like figure in the bathtub!
That was so nasty.
Posted by: The Phoenix at January 29, 2007 4:19 PM
It makes me recall a special moment we shared at work..........enough said!
Posted by: mikeo at January 29, 2007 8:40 PM
Pen: Sometimes I'm so full of fiber that it spreads to other part of my body and things just spill out of me without too much (any) thought.
Phoenix: Stuff like that should only be on pay-per-view.
Mikey: That was caused by a serious lack of fiber and maybe too many peanuts.
Posted by: delmer at January 29, 2007 8:56 PM