« This Nextel Entry Has Been Renamed | Main | Madame Butterfly »
December 19, 2006
Underwear faux pas
The other day I needed to get something from outside. My mother was visiting and as I made my move to the door she said, "You can't go outside in your underwear."
"This isn't underwear, " I said, "They're boxer shorts and I have underwear on beneath them which makes these outerwear. Like gym trunks." (White gym trunks with big purple polka dots on them.)
"If you step out like that and anyone sees you, you could get arrested for indecent exposure."
That's a mother for you. Regardless of how old you might be they're always full of confidence on your behalf.
I tossed on some real gym trunks before heading into the great outdoors.
Today I started thinking about the other underwear missteps that would be avoided if I could rent my mother out to the stars. The one that immediately comes to mind involves Britney Spears. In all fairness, I don't know the whole story, but I think she stepped outside underwearless and was somehow photographed. I don't believe she was arrested for indecent exposure.
This is how the conversation between Britney and my mother played out in my mind.
"Britney," said my mother, "You can't go out like that. You're not wearing any underwear."
"Oh, nobody will notice. My skirt comes down to almost 10 inches above my knee," Britney replied.
"I don't care what you think ... put some panties on right now, young lady."
Through my mother's sheer force of will Britney was made to comply.
"OK. I'm wearing panties," Britney said, "Is that better?"
"Better yes. But not perfect. They're pulled too snug. I can see your camel nose."
"You mean, 'camel toe' ..." objected the pop superstar.
"Have you taken a look at yours in the mirror?" said the superstar mother.
Posted by delmer at December 19, 2006 9:35 AM
Comments
And who knows where that 'camel nose' has been.
Posted by: The Phoenix at December 19, 2006 11:32 AM
I just love the phrase "Camel Toe"
Posted by: blackadept at December 19, 2006 11:39 AM
1) Can we send your mom over to talk to Lindsey Lohan, too?
2) This must have been the rationale behind the guy I saw JOGGING in his boxers the other day. Hopefully he had some very supportive underwear underneath. But hey, as far as I know he didn't get arrested, so there you go!
Posted by: diane at December 20, 2006 10:06 AM
I don't know that you would be arrested for indecent exposure but White gym trunks with big purple polka dots on them absolutely SHOULD get you arrested....wrong, so wrong!
Stick to tights Delmer....safest way :)
Posted by: Pen at December 20, 2006 11:32 AM