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December 7, 2006
The Rules of Dating: Part IX
Rules six and seven are:
6. Don't date your buddies' exes.
and
7. Don't date Britteny Spears.
Don't date your buddies' exes
I believe I suggested that you shouldn't date your buddies' exes as it could lead to problems between you and your buddy. The Fonz may have said, "Steady girls are here today ... steady friends are here to stay," but that's sort of bullshit and, unless you are Richie Cunningham with a team of writers behind you to smooth things over, your friend is likely to resent you.
And face it. She dumped your buddy. Your friend is your friend for a reason. You share interests. You have similar thoughts and ideals. You like the same beer. You have all those things in common that lead to the type of male bonding typically reserved for soft-core gay porn novels.
That's not what I really mean, but after I saw that last sentence on the screen I couldn't bring myself to delete it.
What I do mean is that you and your buddy are likely very much alike. She dumped your buddy because, well, face it ... she's a psycho bitch. You and your buddy have already talked about and agreed to this.
Wait. That's not what I meant either.
She dumped your buddy because there was something about him she didn't like. As you are like your buddy in many ways she's bound to dump you too. Psycho bitches are like that. I've seen happen on Cinemax time and time again.
In the end you'll have lost the girl. And your buddy.
And, in cases where the buddy has cooler toys, or is the big bat on the softball team, or has a good outside shot on the basketball court, or has season tickets to OSU football, well, you've lost a good deal more.
And while they seem to have different reasons, Glamour Magazine agrees with me.
Don't date Britteny Spears
Though it is perfectly acceptable to date women who point out that you've misspelled Britney.
(FWIW, 35 people have stumbled across What's a Delmer Look Like by butchering Britney's name.)
Posted by delmer at December 7, 2006 7:41 AM
Comments
Hey...you spelled Bitney wrong....
Posted by: karla at December 7, 2006 9:58 AM
LOL. It took me a second, but I got it.
Norway is waaay more than an hour away ... and Rich, I'm sure, has arms long enough to pummel me before I could get close enough to deliver body blows.
(You were making the dating-women-who-point-out-misspellings joke, right? Or did I just stick my size 14 in my mouth?)
Posted by: delmer at December 7, 2006 10:04 AM
Size 14???? Do you have the same shoe sizes there that we have here cos if you do thats a damn BIG foot!!
I'm safe, I'm about 14 hours away - but if we went by MY rules then hmmmmm....
I'll stop now LOL
Posted by: Pen at December 7, 2006 1:14 PM
Pen: One of the local Brits told me the sizes were close. He said I'd likely be a 13 or 13.5 in the UK.
The distance between us would present quite the stalking challenge ... then, of course, you'd also hear me clomping along as I ducked around corners.
Posted by: delmer at December 8, 2006 2:51 PM