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December 28, 2006
Ricky Bobby
"Dear tiny infant Jesus."
"Dad, you made that grace your bitch."
"Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey."
You probably recognize those quotes from the meal scene in "The Best Movie Ever Made." (At least that's what it says on the DVD.)
This movie has left me with some questions:
1. Do NASCAR announcers have to stand while they announce? I don't believe they were ever shown sitting in the movie. Are they in better shape than football announcers? Do they have varicose veins?
2. Is there always an extra gear to shift into? Many times during the movie Ricky Bobby or Cal will decide to make a move and announce something like, "Here I come," then they'd shift, accelerate and start moving past cars like they were sitting still. So, you've got a bunch of cars ripping around the track at 180 miles per hour, Cal says, "Tell Ricky I'm on my way," he shifts (up? down? sideways? I don't know ... I'm not a car guy), hits the gas a little harder, and starts passing people who, just moments before, he was happy enough to be sitting behind.
3. Why isn't NASCAR bigger in Europe? Based on some of the stories I've heard about roundabouts (traffic circles, rotaries) all you'd need is two or three guys standing around doing play-by-play in order to have an honest-to-god NASCAR-sanctioned event. They've certainly got no shortage of hooligans, what we'd call NASCAR fans here, over there. I'm sure the car-to-pit radio chatter would be very proper.
4. Why isn't NASCAR bigger in Australia? Australia is huge -- almost as big as Texas by some accounts. Bigger than Texas by others; for example, those accounts given by non-Texans. Meanwhile the population is just double that of Ohio. Think of the tracks that could be built in all that wide open space. Think of the straightaways. The only problem I can see is that, being south of the equator (For all you NASCAR fans that would be the big imaginary line that goes around the fattest part of the globe, like a belt -- making, Africa (if you're familiar with it) sort of like the belt buckle ... though small by NASCAR-fan standards) ... anyway, being south of the equator the cars would have to travel clockwise which might affect beer sales at the tracks and would certainly exclude any American drivers from participating.
5. Why didn't I make the NASCAR-Fan / Ancestors-as-a-slave-owner crack? Some things are too easy. Martin Luther King day is just around the corner.
By the way, I loved Talladega Nights. I saw it at the theater. I own the DVD and I've watched it twice in two days. (Yea, I know. Who am I to make fun of NASCAR fans.)
Posted by delmer at December 28, 2006 12:01 AM
Comments
So... you're saying I should rent it then?
Posted by: Dave2 at December 28, 2006 1:35 AM
You may have a more sophisticated sense of humor than I have, but I enjoyed it. But, there are worse things you can do with three or four dollars.
Posted by: delmer at December 28, 2006 10:28 AM