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April 27, 2006
The Running Man
Tuesday morning I woke up, showered and shaved.
Until recently I had a beard and the steps involved in shaving had sort of escaped me. I did a pretty good job getting the whiskers off though I did cut myself in four places.
I put on an after-shave skin moisturizer. A very manly one. One that seems to have some alcohol in it.
I then put in my contacts. The right one went in well enough. However, and I still don't know where I went wrong, when I put the left one in I somehow managed to get some of the very manly skin moisturizer on the contact lens. It hurt a helluva lot.
Still, I was convinced the pain would last for only a moment and decided to suck it up and head out the door. The bright sunshine seemed to cause the eye to hurt more and tear up a good deal. Even with the eye closed the sun made it scream in pain..
I went to McDonald's and pulled into my favorite parking spot. As I moved toward the door I noticed another patron on his way in. I did the math and determined that I'd handily beat the other guy to the counter. Not that it is important, I just don't care for those awkward, who-was-here-first moments that sometimes occur when two guys hit the entrance at the same time. I prefer to either get beat by a good margin, or beat the other guy by a good margin.
I entered the door closest to the counter while he was entering a door at the rear of the McDonald's. It wasn't even going to be a contest. Until he started running to beat me. He came in the back door and then ran to beat me to the counter. We were both about 45-years old. We both weighed about the same. I was about 8 inches taller. And really, I may have been 40 pounds lighter.
Not that I have a problem with heavy people -- take a look at yesterday's entry. It's just that it made the situation even that much more absurd. (I love all people. Thin, fat, tall, short. All colors. All creeds. I love the guy who has English as a third language even as he struggles to troubleshoot my support problem -- I hate HP for making me have to interact with the guy -- but I love the fact he's trying. And since I've stepped into it here, let me say that my favorite non-USA support conversations start, "So you have a computer problem, eh?" because then I know I've hooked up with a Canadian and Canadians rock. And I don't just mean Rush, April Wine and Chilliwack. Hey, April Wine is working on a new studio album; who knew?)
So this guy runs past me. He orders and Egg McMuffin and coffee to go. He doesn't look at me as he moves to get a napkin. I step to the counter and order an Egg McMuffin, a Fruit & Yogurt Parfait, and a Super Large Diet Pepsi with light ice. He gets his food and moves to the door ... as he did get it to go.
A moment later my food is on my tray and I pick it up and move toward my favorite table. The running man is standing at a table, near the door, eating his Egg McMuffin. Standing at a table seems to be his version of to go.
When I placed my order the gal at the counter said, "That will be $4.86," and I knew she had charged me the to-go price, as it is typically $5.06 when I eat in. I said, "Wait, I'm eating here."
She said, (and everybody say it with me), "Oh. That will be $5.06."
So, the most Running-in-front-of-me Man could have saved was twenty cents. He had coffee instead of pop, so he would not have paid the pop tax (eat in, take it with you, it's taxed) ... so we're talking tax on a McMuffin and coffee, which I think is about three bucks. So, he saved thirteen or fourteen cents.
He ran to be in front of me. He ordered to go and ate in (though he did stand, denying himself of the comfort afforded by the plush plastic mounted-to-the-floor seats). He was wearing dress clothes and a tie.
I wish one of my high school buddies had been with me. We'd be talking about this for years.
Posted by delmer at April 27, 2006 9:48 AM
Comments
Hey, at least you weren't racing to be first in line with your cars!
Posted by: Dave2 at April 27, 2006 3:00 PM
I didn't know there was a difference in price for take out & stay in. Sorry you had to deal with burning contacts (hate when that happens) and rude patrons (hade when that happens too!).
You have a great writing style. It's very funny and witty.
Posted by: Sar at April 27, 2006 3:37 PM
Dave: Over lunch today I told my Running Man story to a couple of coworkers and followed it up with the story you mentioned about the guy who thought you were going to the drive thru and decided to race.
Sar: Yea, we get taxed for the pleasure of dining in. Pop gets taxed regardless.
Posted by: delmer at April 27, 2006 3:53 PM
Um, Sar ... that would be 'soda' to you. My brother, an Ohio transplant living in Williamsburg likes to point that 'pop' is incorrect now.
I'm not sure of his 'tennis shoes' vs. 'sneakers' position.
Posted by: delmer at April 27, 2006 3:58 PM