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April 28, 2006
Running Man Two
If you turn to yesterday's entry you'll see my story about The Running Man. That event occurred on Tuesday.
On Wednesday I was on my way to work via McDonald's again. I made a left turn out of a road you wouldn't know if I gave the name -- it runs past the fairgrounds. After this left I get into a right-turn-only lane on Leap Road and make a pretty quick right ... it has to be less than a quarter mile.
So I make the left and get in the right-turn-only lane. A car coming toward me makes a left in front of me. She has plenty of time, I'm not even close. The car behind her has plenty of time to make the same left, but I can tell from the angle of attack that the second car is in a big hurry. I catch the profile of the guy in the second car: could that be ... The Running Man?
I look at my watch. It is 8:22.
We're driving in this order: The Gal, The Running Man, and me. Past Schwebels and through a hard right then left curve, up to the stop sign in front of the building I work in (Vanner Inc.). 
At this point, If a person were to continue straight ahead he'd come to another stop in pretty short order. A right at that sign and in about half a mile you're at McDonald's.
If a person takes a right at this first sign -- in front of Vanner -- gets on the gas, and takes a left about a quarter mile down he'll then come to a stop about a quarter mile away from McDonald's. This increases the distance to McDonald's a tad as after the left the road curves around away from Micky D's a bit.
We're at the first sign. The Gal, the Running Man and Me. As we sit there I can tell, again from his angle of attack, that the Running Man is going to take the first right then the left and try to beat The Gal -- should she be taking the right at the second sign. Like I said, he'll have to hit it hard and he could end up screwed should something go wrong, like cross traffic.
The Gal is moving too slow as she goes to the second sign. She makes the right, as do I, and as we approach the cross street I can see The Running Man sitting there. He makes the turn in front of us.
I end up in line right behind him at Micky D's.
That night, as I took my stroll, I thought of The Running Man. I thought that he should maybe leave home five minutes earlier. Then I thought that maybe he has kids and he has to see them off on the bus in the morning and can't get away from home any sooner. Then I thought that perhaps he should have a PB&J at home in the morning and skip Micky D's altogether. Then Bitch by the Rolling Stones came up on my MP3 player and I started salivating like Pavlov's dog and thought no more about the Running Man.
Until Thursday morning.
I awoke at 7:50 and thought If I hurry, maybe I can beat the Running Man to McDonald's. In envisioned myself standing at the counter, the Running Man behind me, and when the counter gal said, the usual?, I'd say "no" and take extra long to order. Let's see him run around that. Har har har!
I know how childish this sounds. Even before I typed the second har in the last paragraph I realized that I had a George Costanza/Ray Romano/Jim Belushi attitude about this whole thing. (Pulp can move baby!)
I showered and put in my contacts. The hell with shaving I thought. I was on my way to work in short order.
I made the left turn from the road you wouldn't know if I told you (that happens to be Northwest Parkway now that I think of it. The American Heritage Dictionary defines parkway as A broad landscaped highway, often divided by a planted median strip. Northwest Parkway runs by the fairgrounds in a light industrial area. The speed limit is 25 mph. There is no landscaping. There is no median strip. There is no sidewalk. Fairground Storage is on one side of the road.)
I made the left turn from Northwest Parkway onto Leap Road. I moved into the right-turn only lane and kept my eye on oncoming traffic. It was 8:18. Four minutes earlier than yesterday.
I slowed just a bit and even as I did I realized that the odds of me seeing the Running Man were very slim. My ability to affect my ability to see the Running Man was very slim. We're talking about a quarter mile of turn lane here -- moving fast or slow I was going to be making a right turn in seconds. Still, I slowed a bit.
A green mini van was coming toward me. I started my right turn.
Wait. what's that. A small red two-door behind the van? What are the odds?
I made the curve past Schwebels. The red two-door had not made the turn yet. Maybe the guy wasn't even coming this way. If it was the Running Man he'd have already been here.
Ah. The red two-door turned. I cruised up Reynolds Drive; the red car closed in. I checked the rear view ... it was the Running Man.
We sat at the sign in front of Vanner. Would he take that right, hammer down, and then take the left? I was ready for him ... never before was I as happy that I'd opted for the 3.3 liter engine over the 3.0 liter in my sweet-ride of a mini van. The three new plugs and plug wires I'd just put in would most certainly assure I'd beat The Running Man if he tried the right-left-right maneuver.
No. We both went straight. We both went right. We both turned left into McDonald's. I followed the traffic pattern as the pavement arrows suggest ... Running Man went against the traffic pattern and found a spot. He parked near the rear door -- I was near the door closest to the counter.
We were reliving Tuesday.
I went in the front door. Running Man went in the rear.
He did not run. He didn't put a tie on as came in.
The old guy that I see all the time and who sometimes talks to me but seems surprised when I say "hello" to him looked at the Running Man and said, "Hi Butch."
There were two people in front of me, then me, Butch, and the old guy. The old guy and Butch talked about a common friend.
Butch seemed calm. Unhurried.
I was right. All the Running Man needed was to get out of the house five -- or even four -- minutes earlier.
Posted by delmer at April 28, 2006 10:39 AM
Comments
i want a semi-anonymous commuter friend with whom i share semi-friendly rivalries for egg mcmuffins!
you, sir, have found an excellent specimen for a case study in human behavior.
Posted by: dyna at April 28, 2006 1:22 PM