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April 30, 2006
Don't Feed the Spammers
Today's entry is rated R for content. Regular, adult readers, of What's a Delmer Look Like may enjoy the content.
This post is part of the low-testosterone series I've been putting here on the weekends. This item is a reply to a spammer/troll. I know, I know I know -- don't feed the trolls. Sometimes you have to.
What I think is interesting with respect to spammers in the Usenet group alt.support.impotence is that spammers still spam there. You have a group of well educated men (and women) who know a lot about their condition and once in a while someone new pops in with a supposed cure all.
It isn't hard to recognize someone new. It isn't hard to recognize bunk. And yet, it continues to come in.
Additionally, you have certain percentage of the membership who aren't preoccupied with thoughts of sex (that would be at least the low-testosterone group ... I was a member until recently). As you may recall from the Seinfeld episode, The Abstinence, that refraining from sex increases a man's concentration and, it would appear intelligence. Low testosterone, unfortunately, affects a man's concentration in a bad way. So, I can only assume it was good luck, Karma, or the Lord, that brought someone to ASI touting the sexual benefits of a product her husband had found on E-Bay at a time when my hormones were OK but I wasn't getting any.
I was focused and had time on my hands.
Using the IP address of the spammer I was able to determine her employer and his location in Texas. I went to E-Bay and found the product the spammer was bragging on. Using the information provided by the seller and Switchboard.com I was able to get, what I'm 90% certain, is the seller's address. Would you believe that the seller of the product lived within 10-miles of the business from which the spam originated? What are the odds? The gal's husband had to buy it from E-Bay when all he really had to do was make a short drive.
I didn't do anything with the info. I was just certain that the spammer and the seller were the same person and I wanted to prove it to myself.
That's not what this post is about. A Mr. Howard posted the following:
I found this which may help us....
I gotta tell you something. Some years ago I used to watch porno often. I always admired those guys cumming. They splashed out so much sperm on their girls, it looked so cool, so manlike.
Now I have a girlfriend... but quantity of my sperm was so scanty, that I felt ill at ease. I was advised to eat green apples but even this didn't help.
A month ago I was hanging around at the bar with my best friend. And he said that I should try Spurm-a-maxx. Well, - I thought, - sounds interesting. Next day I came to know that it was really a highly effective all-natural dietary supplement, which not only increases the sperm volume but also improves the sperm quality and the mobility of spermatozoa. Having ordered and tried I was shocked how cool it was. I'd even say, it changed my life. I'm happy. I even became a better lover, knowing how it all would end.
Yada yada yada
And I responded (knowing the spammer would never read it, but trying to provide a bit of humor for the other readers of ASI).
I remember watching a Daniel Boone episode about 30 years ago. Dan was hanging with some native Americans who were a little peeved about something -- the something involved some of the boys of the tribe.
Anyway, Dan had the young men eat green apples. The boys got sick, rushed off camera and threw up. For whatever reason this fixed whatever problem the boys had (I don't think it was poor ejaculate volume) and everybody was happy.
As you know Daniel Boone was a man ... a REAL man.
In another episode he was hanging with his posse at Cincinnatus' Tavern when one of the guys brought up -- as guys so often do -- the fact that he had poor ejaculate volume and that he could no longer fill a coonskin cap. He was certain that this was somehow a disappointment to his wife.
Dan, the wise sage that he was, asked the obvious. "What the f*ck are you talking about," which was pretty racy for late-60's television. "Are you trying to tell me that you think your wife can tell how much you're shootin' when you're riding high in the saddle. If she's coming away disappointed let me assure you it has nothing to do with ejaculate volume. Why, take me for example ... I can't fill a thimble, but I can make a woman scream like a she-bear; and I should know something about that."
I'm not trying to pick on anybody (Except maybe the original poster -- this seems to be the first post from anybody using that name. There was someone who posted several years ago with that moniker, but it doesn't appear to be the same guy.)
I'd like a little more explanation from Mr. Howard about how this may help us. When did he become one of us? Most of the posts I read are along the lines of: What can I do to get it up? Keep it up? Where did my sex drive go? etc. I don't recall too many concerning a man's desire to put out camp fires by masturbating on them.
Sorry for the rant. It's late. I dislike spammers.
OK. It's not my best work.
Another Daniel Boone episode I remember involved his boy filling the wood box. Then there was the one with Mingo throwing a tomahawk at a silhouetto of a man (Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the Fandango); Johnny Carson was in that episode.
Posted by delmer at April 30, 2006 1:53 PM