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April 24, 2006
Amazing Weight-Loss Breakthrough
As you know What's a Delmer Look like has recently been outed as a highly reliable and respected source of cutting-edge weight loss breakthroughs. In the past -- just this week -- I denied this but, today, I have finally accepted my role as a weight loss guru.
In order to keep my guruness going, balls to the wall, I have pored over little-known medical reports, searched ancient texts, and generally fabricated the details necessary to create the last diet you will ever need.
There will be no points to count. No meals to deal. No sweating to the oldies to accelerate weight loss. No counting carbs or calories. Nothing you need to buy.
I believe this diet breakthrough will work for most readers of What's a Delmer Look Like. There may be a few for which it will not and I would recommend that anybody trying the diet be sure to supplement their daily meals with an industrial-strength multivitamin and maybe a protein drink here and there. As always, consult a physician before starting any new diet or exercise routine.
I'm not sure how much weight a typical person might lose or how long it would take. Research from North Vietnam would suggest a lot of weight fast.
The diet involves adding a simple supplement to each meal. A supplement you already have in the house. A supplement that is readily available. The supplement is the key though the way it is administered is another, equally important, part of the program.
What is the supplement? you ask. Not so fast. What type of infomercial-entry would this be if I spilled the big beans up front. Let's go for the little beans first.
How much of the supplement will you need for each meal? Like a lot of things, that depends. Research has shown that application and presentation are as important -- and some research suggests even more important -- as the amount of the supplement itself. If the dieter is aware that the diet-assist additive has been placed on his food he will likely lose more weight faster than if he is told about the additive post meal. Nutritionists are split as to why this happens with some suggesting the existence of a synergistic link between the mind and digestive tract while others feel it is mere coincidence or attributable to the way different people metabolize the diet-assist agent.
Research also shows that the fresher the diet-assist agent the better the results. This goes hand in hand with presentation of the product. While applying the agent at room temperature, from, say, a salt shaker, still yields incredible results they are even more profound when the agent is applied fresh and at body temperature.
The amount of the agent needed for each meal will vary by dieter. Some will need more than others. I suggest starting with a tablespoon of the agent -- if that fails to provide the desired results up to a cup may be used and spread across several food items.
The additive I'm talking about here is widely manufactured and available from many different sources. The quality will be similar across the board but different manufacturers will likely provide different results. Oddly enough, the dieter will often be helped with his diet if he knows the manufacturer of the particular agent he is using. It might be another one of those synergy things.
Are you uncomfortable sprinkling things onto your food? This remarkable diet-assistant may still be able to help you out. One study has shown that simply having an open quart of this product on the dinner table is enough to trigger appetite suppressing hormones and curb appetite. This has led some to speculate that there is more of an aromatherapy thing going on than anything else. The oddest thing to come from this study is that, in this case, the older the diet-assist agent sample, the better the results. It was also shown that weight-loss results were better when the container used was an open clear glass or plastic suggesting that light interaction with the diet-assist product produces more favorable results.
answer to your weight-
loss problems?
What is this amazing diet breakthrough? Urine.
Always in ready supply. Rarely more than an arm's length away.
Sometimes the packaging leaves a little to be desired.
As do my entries ... but what can a person do when he keeps getting thanked for swell weight-loss ideas when he, in fact, has zero ideas on the topic.
Posted by delmer at April 24, 2006 10:25 AM
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Comments
I'm coming out with a variety of different flavored urine. They will each compliment a variety of meals...like urine that will bring out the flavor of your roast beef.
I think it will be a hot seller.
Posted by: The Phoenix at April 24, 2006 4:09 PM
I'm afraid you're going be outed as another kind of guru now. Always good to diversify.
Posted by: Rob at April 24, 2006 4:20 PM