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August 29, 2005
Today class, we will talk about driving courtesy
Common sense would seem to say that when you are sitting in the driver's seat of an automobile you probably have an interest in driving said auto. Greater interest is shown when you put that auto into play on the road and start tooling down the highways, byways, streets, and paths of whatever metropolis, city, burg or village you happen to be driving through.
Red, Green, Yellow
Every flippin' time
I would like to suggest that whenever you get into a car you put whatever you might need on the front seat next to you. When you stop at a red light, it is not a signal to lean into the backseat and start digging around for something. It is a signal that the light will soon be turning green. If your intention is to make a banana split while you drive, as ill advised as it may be, have the ice cream -- all the flavors ('flavours' to all you old Englanders) at hand. There should be none of this "You know, strawberry might be good after all. Where is it. Ah yes, in the floor of the backseat right next to the atlas." Have the bananas, sprinkles ('jimmys' to all you New Englanders), nuts, hot fudge and other toppings, whipped cream and cherrys on the front seat beside you. It might be a good idea to keep the scoop in the glove box.
Scooping the ice cream should be secondary to driving the car.
Again: When you are sitting at a red light, keep an eye on it. It won't be long before it turns green. Holding up traffic because you are distracted with other things in unacceptable. The only exception is if you are Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee and you are shooting a sequel to your first movie; please drive with the top down.
As for tailgating: cut it out.
As a service to the public in general I typically drive four or five miles over the speed limit, unless of course this puts me in a position of tailgating the car ahead of me. I try to abide by the rule of keeping three seconds between me and the car ahead of me.
If the speed limit is 35 I may drive along at 39 or 40 (conditions permitting). Autos following me are then provided the opportunity and thrill of driving the same 39 or 40 mph, so long as they remain a respectable distance behind me. Some people prefer the greater thrill of driving 45 or 50 mph. This thrill is shorter lived as they eventually come upon the backend of my minivan and have to slow to 40 ... and then 35 as I slow to observe the speed limit.
We can all speed just a bit over the speed limit all day long. Or you can go well over the speed limit briefly. In any case you're not getting there before me.
Tonight, just about 20 minutes ago, I was tooling along and a guy was on my butt. I dropped to 35 mph and wondered if something I thought was going to happen would happen as he was following too close. And it did.
I was going to make a left turn into a gas station. I signaled well before the turn and braked to make it. When I stopped to make the turn the car behind me was so close he couldn't swing around me on the right as he couldn't clear my bumper, even though there was plenty of room to my right. Oncoming traffic kept me from making my left turn right away. Had the goofball not been tailgating he wouldn't have had to wait with me to turn.
Or ... maybe ... he'd noticed what a great driver I am (like all men, I think I'm above average when it comes to driving) and just knew I was going to make one helluva left and decided he'd stick around and admire my technique.
One thing I've done to discourage tailgating is that I've adjusted one of the squirters on my windshield sprayer so that it shoots straight up. If someone is following too close I'll give them a squirt -- but only in extreme circumstances.
Like the time I was heading east on I-70. Two older women were following right on my bumper. I was in the slow lane doing the speed limit. There are two lanes. Traffic was light. There had been plenty of opportunity to pass. I slowed a bit hoping to encourage the gals to pass -- they slowed as well, hanging off my ass. (Hanging off my ass like a dingleberry? Hanging off my ass? Dingleberry doesn't do it for me.)
I finally gave them the squirt. They slowed and faded back a couple of car lengths; but just for a minute. It wasn't long before the driver was on top of me again. I gave them another squirt and they dropped back; but just for a minute. I tossed a kitten out the window -- this got their attention.
OK, the third squirt finally clued them in and they swung around me.
Posted by delmer at August 29, 2005 7:18 PM
Comments
Um, small point (which I am sure you already know) ... it's English, or British, not Englander's!
And "tooling along" obviously has a different meaning over here than it does there LOL.
Posted by: Soss at August 31, 2005 8:58 AM
I work with a couple of Brits and once in a while learn a new phrase. I've only recenlty got a grip on "the dogs bollocks." Er, the meaning of the phrase.
Not long ago a problem arose when one of the guys asked for a "cattle lead." We went back and forth before I finally figured out he was saying "kettle lead" which was just a tiny bit more helpful until he explained it went from the the wall socket to the kettle.
Ah ... a power cord.
Posted by: delmer at August 31, 2005 9:16 AM